The Heart Divided
by MyImmortal329
Summary: Unfortunate circumstances lead Sully and Michaela to take their first grandchild into their care. When legal issues arise, will they be able to keep their family together? *DISCONTINUED*
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

The Heart Divided

Chapter 1

Three-year-old Katie was sleeping in her father's arms as the train pulled into Colorado Springs for the first time that morning. It was the eight o'clock train, and the Sully family had been awake since dawn, preparing for their guests.

Fourteen-year-old Brian grinned when he saw his older sister stepping off the train. Andrew assisted her, and she adjusted her coat over her pregnant belly. She was due any day now, and she wanted her baby to be born in the place that she still considered her home.

Michaela was excited for her daughter and son-in-law, though she only wished that Colleen were already finished with medical school. But, Colleen had insisted that she was going to go through with medical school after the birth, and she would have plenty of help with the baby while she was at school.

One exciting element to this situation was that her first grandchild would be just a little younger than her second birth child. Elizabeth Marjorie Sully had been born just a week ago, and she was already thriving. It was amazing to see how much this little one looked like her older sister. It hadn't been long ago that Miss Katie had been that size, and there was no mistaking that they were sisters!

"You feelin' alright?" Sully asked, worried about his wife's health. She'd had a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy, but he was even more protective of her now, because she was wearing herself out by getting up at all hours of the night with the baby. Beth, as they called her, had quite a temper, and if her needs weren't tended to right away, the exhausted parents wouldn't get much sleep for the rest of the night.

"I'm fine," Michaela replied. "I'm just a bit nervous. I haven't seen her since before she announced her pregnancy. I only wish I could have been there for her during this. It's not an easy time, and it happened so quickly." It was true! Colleen and Andrew hadn't even been married for three months when they received the surprising news. Their first anniversary had just passed, and the biggest gift of their lives was due at any time.

"From her letters, it sounds like Andrew's been takin' real good care of her." Colleen and Andrew began to walk toward their welcoming party, and Colleen practically flew into her mother's arms.

"Ma!"

"Colleen!" Michaela exclaimed with tears of joy in her eyes. "Oh sweetheart! I've missed you!"

"I missed you too," Colleen replied, nearly bursting into tears at the sight of the family she held so near and dear to her heart. "I missed you all!" She hugged Sully and then Brian. Matthew, who'd just arrived, took his little sister into his arms and held her close.

"Look at ya," he said, holding her out at an arm's length a moment later.

"Yeah, yeah. I know I'm as big as a house," Colleen commented, making a face.

"Ya look great," Sully said with a smile, beaming with pride that his oldest daughter was about to be a mother herself. Sully looked at Andrew. The young doctor seemed to be pale and a bit disoriented, and he stepped over to the side as Colleen took her youngest sister into her arms for the first time.

"This must be Beth," she cooed. "Hi Beth! I'm your big sister, Colleen." Sully put his hand on his son-in-law's shoulder.

"Andrew?"

"Hello, Sully," Andrew said with a forced smile.

"Everything alright?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Let's take a walk."

"Later," Andrew replied. "I'd like to take our things to the boarding house."

"Nonsense!" Michaela exclaimed, overhearing Andrew's suggestion. "You'll be staying at the clinic. "I'd rather you stay at the homestead, but with Colleen due at any moment, I'd feel better if we all slept in town to avoid any late-night trips."

"Are ya sure it's no trouble, Ma?" Colleen asked, rubbing her swollen belly with her free hand.

"I'm sure," Michaela replied. "Come along. We'll go get settled in at the clinic." Sully pulled Michaela aside and kissed her cheek.

"Why don't ya go ahead with 'em. I'm gonna have a talk with Andrew."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yep. Everything's fine."

"Don't worry 'bout the luggage. We'll take care of it," Matthew offered, thumping his brother on the back. "C'mon, Brian." The two went about to take care of Colleen and Andrew's suitcases. Sully turned to Andrew.

"Let's take a walk. They're takin' care of everything."

"I'd rather not," Andrew said hesitantly. Sully looked at his son-in-law sternly. "On second thought, I could use some fresh air." The two walked off toward the street. Sully was silent as he held his sleeping daughter in his arms. He was trying to figure out what to say to him first.

"Expectin' a baby is a pretty stressful thing," Sully commented slowly. Andrew nodded. "Ain't been sleepin'?"

"Colleen's been feeling ill lately," he explained. "I haven't slept, because she hasn't slept. When I do manage to catch a few minutes, I'll wake up feeling like something's wrong." Sully remembered back to the few weeks before Katie's birth, and he'd been the same just a week ago as he was waiting for Beth to come into the world.

"Last weeks can be hard on some women."

"It's been especially difficult for Colleen," Andrew replied. "She's been frightened of something happening during the delivery, and she won't let me comfort her."

"She's pushin' ya away?" Andrew nodded.

"Things have changed. We're not ready for a child, Sully." Sully looked at his son-in-law with surprise.

"It's a little late to change your mind, ya know? You're gonna be a pa in just a few days."

"I know, and that's what scares me," Andrew replied. "I love Colleen, don't get me wrong, and I love this child, but . . ."

"But what?"

"I'm never going to be there. Colleen is going to take time off of school to care for the baby until she's well enough to go back, and I'm going to be working extra hours to bring home enough money to support the three of us. It wouldn't be so financially difficult if Colleen weren't preparing to start medical school. Don't get me wrong, because I can't wait until the two of us are able to practice medicine together, but we never expected this to happen so soon. She's asked me to talk with her grandmother about borrowing money, but I don't feel right about that."

"If ya need a little extra . . ."

"No," Andrew said quickly. "I appreciate that, but you and Michaela have enough to worry about with Beth and Katie so young. I don't want you putting your own financial situation in jeopardy." Sully knew that Andrew was correct, so he decided not to press the matter any further at the moment. Besides, he couldn't force money into Andrew's hands when he knew that he wouldn't accept it if he was in the young man's position.

"I got the feelin' that money ain't the only think you're worryin' about." Andrew shook his head as they rounded a corner and started toward the clinic.

"You're right. I don't feel ready to be a father. Perhaps it's because I was never close with my father." Sully put his hand up.

"That ain't got nothin' to do with it. I don't remember my pa. I was always angry 'bout that, 'cause I thought I wouldn't be a good man without him tellin' me the things I needed to know. Look at me now, Andrew. I got a wife and five kids who love me more than I ever thought was possible. Bein' close with your pa don't have to make a difference. Remember that." Sully patted his son-in-law on the back, and they walked into the clinic. Colleen was sitting on a stool while Matthew and Brian were upstairs putting the trunks and suitcases away.

Colleen smiled when she saw her husband, but Michaela noticed a sort of tension between the two of them.

"How are you feeling?" he wondered.

"I'm a little tired," Colleen confessed. "Would you mind helping me upstairs so I can rest?" Andrew nodded.

"I believe that's a good idea, Colleen," Michaela noted. "I'm pleased that you know when to give yourself a rest." Colleen smiled, knowing that her mother was thinking back to when she was pregnant with Katie, and she nearly pushed herself too hard.

"Take it easy," Sully called after his daughter as Andrew helped her up the stairs. Michaela smiled and moved to take little Katie out of her father's arms.

"She's had a long morning. I'll take her upstairs for a nap."

"Alright, but after that, we gotta talk." Michaela hated the sound of that.

"What's the matter?"

"I just wanna talk with ya for a few," Sully replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek. Michaela smiled, assured that her husband wasn't upset with her. She carried the sleepy girl upstairs, and Sully moved to the bassinet to look in on little Beth. He ran the back of his hand against her cheek, and she turned her face toward him and continued to sleep. He grinned down at her, and his heart swelled with such pride!

Brian and Matthew made their way down the stairs.

"All done," Brian announced.

"Good," Sully said with a nod. "Why don't the two of ya go over to Grace's and get somethin' to eat?"

"I ain't hungry," Brian replied. Matthew looked at his little brother.

"Since when are you not hungry?"

"Well, I guess I am a little. Want me to bring you and Ma somethin'?" Brian asked.

"That's alright. We'll get a bite to eat later." Matthew and Brian left quickly, and Sully walked over to look out the window. He smiled when he saw Matthew and Brian jump onto their horses to race a fairly short distance to Grace's Café.

"Sully?" Michaela walked back into the room and over toward Beth's bassinet. She tucked the blanket around her more snugly, and walked over to join her husband by the window. "What's on your mind?" Sully looked out to see the figures of Matthew and Brian slowly disappearing into the dust from the streets.

"Do ya think Ethan is part of the reason Matthew and Brian turned out the way they are?" Sully wondered. Michaela raised an eyebrow. Ethan was someone nobody had mentioned for a long time!

"Why do you ask?" Sully swallowed hard.

"Andrew's worried that he ain't gonna be a good pa. He says it's 'cause he wasn't close to his own pa." Michaela looked a bit surprised.

"Sully, Andrew will make a wonderful father. He's only nervous. Once the baby gets here, he'll see how wonderful having a child can be. He's not doing it alone." She reached out to stroke Sully's lightly stubbled cheek. "You grew up without a father, and look how wonderful you turned out." Sully smiled, loving the way his wife could make the best out of any situation. He carefully brought her into his arms and reminded himself not to squeeze her too tightly. He knew her muscles were still sore from the delivery a week ago.

Beth began to fuss, and the rare quiet moment was shot to pieces. Sully gave Michaela a smile and kissed her softly.

"It's time for her feeding."

"I'll go upstairs and check on Katie." Michaela nodded, grateful to have such an attentive husband. As Sully started up the stairs, Michaela picked up Beth and carried her into the other room. She sat down in a rocking chair and unbuttoned the front of her blouse, which she'd gotten very good at doing one-handed since she'd had Katie.

As Beth began to nurse, Michaela lightly stroked the child's cheek with her fingers, and she rested her head upon the headrest of the rocking chair. She closed her eyes, thinking about how she wished she could have been there for Colleen to better prepare her for motherhood.

She knew Colleen had been wonderful with Katie, but Colleen didn't know what it was truly like to be a mother. It was one of the most incredible experiences anyone could ever have during one lifetime, and Michaela felt privileged to have five wonderful children. She thanked God for them everyday.

Sully walked in a few minutes later, and Michaela saw that he was carrying Katie in his arms. She was awake now, and as soon as she saw her mother, she held her arms out to her.

"Not just yet, Miss Katie," Sully said with a grin, kissing his little girl upon the cheek. "Mama's gotta finish with Beth first." Katie yawned and leaned her head upon her father's chest and watched her mother nurse her baby sister.

"Mama," she cooed.

"Mama used to hold ya like that too," Sully remembered. "Just like this." He scooped her up as if she were a newborn babe, and he rocked her back and forth. Katie giggled, and Sully tickled her tummy to make her screech with delight. Michaela smiled happily as she watched her husband and oldest birth child.

"Mama work?" Katie asked as she finally settled down.

"No sweetheart. I'm here, because your niece or nephew is going to be born soon." Katie looked confused. "Colleen's baby is coming."

"New baby!"

"That's right. There'll be another new baby in the family, only this one ain't gonna be with us forever. Colleen's baby is gonna go back to Boston with her and Andrew as soon as she's feelin' up to travellin'." Katie only nodded, not fully understanding what her parents had said to her. She rested her head on her father's shoulder again and was dozing off to sleep again a few moments later.

"I think Miss Beth is finished," Michaela noted, feeling that her baby had completely relaxed and was no longer suckling. She buttoned her blouse up and carried her sleeping baby back to her bassinet.

"Want me to take Katie back up to bed?"

"That might be a good idea, but could you wait until I return from checking on Colleen and Andrew? I want them to get settled in."

"Sure. Take your time." Sully sat down in Michaela's desk chair and watched her slowly but carefully climb up the stairs.

Michaela tapped on the door, and Andrew came over a moment later. Michaela smiled.

"I was wondering if there was anything you both needed?" Michaela looked over to see Colleen lying in bed with a look of misery upon her face. "Can I get you something from Grace's?"

"I'm not hungry, Ma," Colleen replied.

"I'm not hungry either," Andrew replied. Michaela nodded with understanding.

"If you need anything, Sully and I will be downstairs." Michaela left the room, and Andrew shut the door behind her. Colleen watched as he walked over to open the balcony doors.

"Andrew? Is something bothering you?"

"I'm fine," he replied, his face growing an even paler shade of white.

"No you aren't Andrew, now tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to bother you," he answered softly. "I just want you to concentrate on keeping yourself calm and safe."

"I'm doing that. I'd like to know what's bothering you or else I will get upset." Andrew turned toward the bed.

"Don't worry. Nothing's wrong. I'm just getting nervous about the baby."

"You're sure that's it?" she asked, reaching up to run her fingers through his soft blonde hair. He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles.

"I'm sure," he replied quietly. I'm gonna go for a walk outside. You get some rest." He started for the door, and as his hand was reaching for the knob, Colleen let out a cry of pain.

* * *

Brian and Matthew were now seated downstairs at the clinic. They were with their littlest sisters; waiting on news of Colleen and the baby. Andrew and Sully were standing in the hall outside of the room upstairs, and though Andrew wanted to be at Colleen's side, he was growing faint, and it was best for him to stay outside until everything was over.

Colleen was screaming so loudly that every scream made him feel guilty. He'd gotten her worked up just before she went into labor, so naturally, he assumed that this was all triggered by his own fears and petty inside battles with himself over whether or not he was going to be a good father.

"Ma, I'm scared!" Colleen cried as Michaela reached up to dab her forehead with a cool, damp cloth.

"You're doing fine, Colleen!" Michaela encouraged her knowing all too well that she wasn't fine. More blood that normal was flowing, and it didn't seem to be letting up. The baby was close to delivery, and Michaela knew that once it was out, she could work quickly to stop the bleeding.

"Colleen, the baby's head is right there. Come on, Colleen. You can do it!" Her heart was beating a mile a minute as Colleen pushed and pushed, and more blood came out.

"Ma!" Colleen screamed as she felt more pain than she'd ever felt in her entire life. The children could hear the commotion from downstairs, and Sully and Andrew both tried to ignore the screams. Andrew looked ready to pass out onto the floor, and Sully was afraid for his daughter. He'd heard that the experience of childbirth was different for most women, but Michaela hadn't carried on like this with either of her births. It was frightening!

"Push, Colleen!" Michaela exclaimed one more time, holding onto her daughter's hand. Colleen was about to give up, but she found the last bit of energy she had left. She pushed with all of her might, and a moment later, Michaela was lifting her grandchild into the world.

Healthy cries could be heard, and the exhausted mother's head hit the pillow. Michaela quickly cut the child's cord and kept her eye on Colleen.

"Colleen, you have a . . ." She glanced at Colleen's pale face, and she saw the life draining from it. "Oh my God! Colleen!" She placed the baby down safely and moved to take action to stop the bleeding.

"Ma," Colleen whispered. "My baby . . ."

"The baby's fine. Just lay still, sweetheart," Michaela whispered, tears streaming down her face. It was amazing how quickly they had gone from tears of joy to tears of frustration and pure fear. Colleen was about to whisper something else before she lost consciousness, and Michaela knew she didn't have much time to save her oldest daughter.

"Don't do this to me, Colleen," she whispered. "Sweetheart, you have to be strong!" Andrew had breathed a sigh of relief after hearing his child's first cries. But all was silent now, and he was worried.

"I have to go in there," he said quickly, starting for the door. Sully stepped in and pulled Andrew back.

"Michaela's takin' care of it. Ya don't need to be in there."

"No!" came a cry from inside.

"Michaela!" Sully asked quickly.

"Colleen!" Michaela's sobs were heard above all else, and Andrew finally burst into the room. He found Michaela, the usually strong and collected doctor, sobbing at her daughter's bedside. He saw blood staining and soaking the sheets. Sully stepped in and immediately looked away, not being able to take in the scene.

"Michaela?" he asked softly.

"No!" she cried again. She was supposed to be the calm one! She wasn't supposed to get emotionally involved with her patients, but she had had no choice this time! Colleen was her daughter, and she'd failed her! She hadn't been able to save such a brilliant, beautiful life.

"Colleen!" Andrew cried, kneeling at his wife's bedside. Sully moved to Michaela's side and slowly pulled her up. She was shaking all over, and she couldn't stop staring down at her daughter's body.

"No," she cried. "No!" Andrew's face was buried in Colleen's thick, beautiful hair, and he was sobbing uncontrollably.

"The baby?" Sully asked, his voice breaking as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"The baby's fine," Michaela whispered, pulling herself toward the child. The baby had fallen asleep in its swaddling blankets. She slowly picked the child up and looked up at Sully with tears in her eyes. "It's a girl." She shakily started toward the door, and when she got into the hall, her kneels buckled. She held the baby close to her body, and felt Sully's strong arms break her fall. She began to sob, gently clutching the child to her chest. Sully sank to the floor with her, and he held her close, crying his own tears of grief over his daughter's death.

Brian and Matthew stood down the hall with their little sisters in their arms. Matthew had to stay strong for his younger siblings, but fear was deeply carved into his features, and now that he saw his parents sobbing in a pile on the floor, he knew the worst had happened. Colleen was dead.

"Matthew?" Brian whispered. Without a word, Matthew put his arm around his little brother and led him down the stairs.

"Sully," Michaela cried, holding her newborn granddaughter close. "This isn't happening. It can't be happening." Sully looked into his wife's eyes and shook his head.

"What happened?"

"She started hemorrhaging so quickly, and once the baby came, I couldn't get it to stop." The newborn in her arms began to cry. "Sully, why? Why? Why?" She asked it over and over again until her words weren't distinguishable through her sobs and tears. Sully held her close, asking himself the same question. Why did a young woman with so much love for life and helping others have to die so young?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sully rocked his granddaughter in his arms as he waited in the main part of the clinic for Michaela to finish nursing little Beth again. Andrew was still sitting upstairs with Colleen, and the rest of the children were waiting quietly with their father. Matthew and Brian were solemn, and tears would fall silently every once in awhile. Katie didn't know what was wrong, but she could sense that something wasn't right from the silence and uneasy atmosphere in the room.

The unnamed child was just a little over an hour old, and Sully couldn't believe how peacefully she was sleeping. She had no idea that her mother was dead or that her life had changed forever the moment she was born. She wasn't supposed to grow up without a mother to help her through all of those troubling girl issues that came with becoming a young woman. She wasn't supposed to remember her mother as just another woman with an ambition higher than most. She was supposed to grow up with a loving mother; a mother who had accomplished something she'd wanted for so many years. She was supposed to be able to tell her friends about how her mother had saved so many lives in her years as a doctor. She'd never get the chance to even hear her mother's voice.

Word of Colleen's death had gotten around town, and several of the town's citizens were waiting outside; holding a prayer meeting for the sweet young woman's soul and her precious newborn baby.

Meanwhile, Michaela was staring blankly at the wall as she rocked her daughter back and forth in the rocking chair. All she could think about was the look on Colleen's face just before she passed away. She'd seen only a glimpse of her beautiful child, and then she was gone. Gone. How could she be gone? She had always been an incredibly bright and loving person with only the best intentions and expectations for her future. She'd aspired to be a doctor just like her mother, and she'd helped take care of a family who loved her so very much. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Parents were not supposed to outlive their children, and now Michaela was left with a gaping hole in her heart; she was grieving for her daughter. All she wanted was to have her back and to see that smile one more time.

Beth began to fuss, and Michaela knew it was time for her nap. She pulled the baby away from her breast and buttoned her shirt. Once Beth had been burped and was feeling relaxed, Michaela stood and slowly took her into the other room. Sully was rocking a still-sleeping baby girl in his arms. She'd been born without a name, and Colleen had never expressed what names she'd had in mind for her unborn child. Perhaps Andrew would know.

"She's ready for her nap," Michaela said, not looking her husband in the eye. She looked toward the bassinet, sensing her sons' eyes on her the entire time. She wanted to break down again, and just when she thought she was all cried out of tears, another one slipped out, cascaded down her face, and it left a moist spot upon her blouse.

Katie, seeing how sad her mother looked, began to cry, and Brian tried his best to silently calm her, but when her cries grew louder, he and Matthew took her out the back, hoping to avoid anyone who wanted to give their condolences. They didn't want to think about it now, but neither one of them could help it. Colleen's tragic and unexpected death was the only thing they could think about, and they kept flashbacking to all of the times their sister had helped them, and they in kind, helped her. Both Matthew and Brian wished that they could have done something to save their sister, but it had all happened so fast, and not even Dr. Mike could save her. Dr. Mike was supposed to be able to do anything, and now they saw their mother at her weakest point ever. They wanted to console her, but caring for Katie at the moment seemed easier to handle. They stood outside, leaning against the door with a crying Katie between them. Why their sister? Why did God have to take Colleen?

Sully walked up behind his wife and gently put a hand on her back. She didn't pull away from his touch, but she didn't react to it either. She stood with her hands on the side of the bassinet and stared down at her little girl. Colleen and Andrew's daughter began to squirm in Sully's arms, and he tensed up, not knowing what he should do. He knew how to be a father, but being a grandfather was completely new to him. He couldn't pass her back to her parents now. Her mother was gone, and her father was absolutely distraught with grief. Andrew was in a place that he'd been so many years ago when Abagail died.

"Michaela," Sully said softly. "Maybe I should go get some of that prepared formula from Loren." Michaela turned quickly, her eyes brimming with tears. He could see that dark circles were forming around her eyes, and her mouth was set in a limp, broken frown. He had never seen her so upset before. He'd seen her after what happened at Washita, but now, after he'd seen her fall to the floor in his arms earlier, he noticed that she was quiet, sad and showed every sign of bursting into tears at any moment. She was trembling slightly, and he knew that she wouldn't be able to keep going without resting for much longer. She was already exhausted enough from Beth's birth, and now that Colleen was gone, she wouldn't be able to eat or sleep. Sully knew his wife was forever changed. "I'll be right back." Michaela shook her head.

"She's so young, Sully. We don't know if she'll take to it or not."

"What do ya suggest we do then?" Sully asked, searching her depressed features for any sign of understanding. She looked as if she were broken and beaten on the inside, and he felt the same way. But, they had to think of the present right now, and not the 'what ifs.' They needed to think about this tiny life that needed one hundred and fifty percent of their attention at this very moment. They needed to grieve, and they would have their time to do so, but Colleen and Andrew's daughter had to come first no matter what. She didn't know what was happening, and her needs couldn't be neglected for anything else. Michaela's fingers gently picked up her granddaughter's hand. There was only one thing she could do right now, and she wasn't sure she should do it. Colleen was gone, and the baby had to eat. Wet nurses were used for substitutes for their mothers all of the time, but she had never in a million years thought that the time would come when she'd have to nurse her own grandchild. "Michaela?"  
"I'll take her," she whispered, brushing another tear away. Sully looked at her with surprise in his eyes, but his love for her seemed to grow even more, if it was possible. Michaela had a heart as big as the whole world, and it seemed to get bigger every day.

"What?"

"This baby needs nourishment just as much as Beth does," she whispered. "Colleen wouldn't want her daughter drinking those infant formulas."

"Ya don't gotta do this. I could get . . ."

"Sully . . . she's our granddaughter, and she's hungry. There is no other choice." She took her granddaughter into her arms and disappeared into the other room again. As she sat down in the rocking chair, she began to cry again. Her granddaughter's arms and legs flailed about as she screamed louder and louder for food. She didn't know if she felt it was her place to do this, but she knew that Colleen wouldn't want a stranger to care for her baby and give it nourishment when someone who already loved her and wanted to help was able to nourish her.

Having her granddaughter nursing from her breast felt no different than holding Beth as she nursed. The baby ate hungrily, and her little hands rested on Michaela's chest.

"I never thought this would happen, little one," Michaela whispered. "Your mother wanted you so much. She always talked about you in her letters, and she would pause to write about your kicking whenever you would kick her. She talked about you even before she knew you were on the way. She wanted you so much, and I don't know why she'll never get the chance to hold you and kiss you. Just know that your mother loves you very much. So does your grandmother." She pressed a kiss to her fingertips and pressed her fingers gently upon the baby's cheek.

She heard footsteps behind her and looked over to see Sully.

"I'm proud of ya, Michaela."

"It's nothing to be proud of. This child needs me, and I'm going to be here for her in any way I can." Sully pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek.

"You're right. Colleen would want it this way."

"Colleen wouldn't want it this way," Michaela said, shaking her head. "She would want to be doing this herself."

"Ya know what I mean." Michaela nodded sadly, and the tears started anew. Sully knelt beside the chair, and his hand rested upon his wife's knee. He looked up into her eyes, but she avoided them, not wanting him to see the true amount of pain she was in. Not yet, anyway. She wanted to finish with the baby before she completely broke down. "I love you, Michaela." Michaela nodded, her lower lip trembling with sadness. She bit her lip and let hot tears stream down her cheeks.

"I know. I love you," she whispered, her faint voice cracking under the strain as she choked back a sob. Sully didn't want to leave Michaela alone, but he knew that she wanted to be alone for a while to finish nursing the baby. He didn't know how long Andrew would be upstairs, and he couldn't help but think back to when Abagail died. It seemed like it had been a million years ago. He hoped he'd be able to offer some comforting words to his son-in-law, but he wasn't even sure how he could comfort his family or himself during this horribly difficult time.

* * *

Andrew stood by the balcony in Colleen's room. He'd hidden her body under a fresh white blanket. He didn't want her exposed to the rest of the world. No, he wanted her to lie in peace with their daughter's face as her last memory.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking out as rain clouds hid the sun, threatening a sudden downpour at any given moment. "I'm sorry, Colleen. I didn't think this could ever happen to us . . . to you. I was so worried about everything else . . . money mostly. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you preparing for our baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there as much as I should have been."

Lightning struck somewhere in the mountains; somewhere that would be scarred for eternity by the white-hot burn of Mother Nature. Andrew felt as if his entire world had been struck and was shaking and tearing violently from the core outward. He felt as if it would never stop hurting, and this was only the beginning. He wasn't feeling the full impact of his wife's death due to the shock, and it would only be a matter of time before it really sank in.

"You shouldn't have left," he whispered, closing his eyes and feeling his hot tears beating against the inside of his eyelids. When he opened his eyes to the gloomy street again, the tears were left free to fall. "Our baby needs you. She's a girl just like you wanted. I know you wouldn't say it, but I heard you talking to your grandmother. I heard you telling her how you dreamed our baby was a girl." Andrew turned toward the bed to face his wife's lifeless form. He wanted to yell at her for leaving. He wanted to blame her for leaving him on earth to take care of a child he had no clue how to take care of. Being a doctor, he knew it was impossible for his beloved Colleen to come back to him, but he only wished he could have a second chance to do it all again. What was he going to do with a child? How was he going to balance his grief, his work in Boston and a newborn baby that probably looked exactly like her mother. God, he hadn't even gotten a good look at the baby, and when he had seen her, it had been a quick glimpse. If she looked like Colleen, he didn't know how he'd be able to take staring into that little face every day and seeing the woman he vowed to love and be with for eternity. Eternity? What a joke.

Andrew walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind himself. He couldn't stand it in there any longer, and as he was starting for the stairs, his knees gave out underneath him. He fell to the floor, and as his body slumped over, his head pressed against the hard wall. He wanted to throw something or tear his own hair out to relieve the pounding anger and grief that was surging through his veins. He felt as if his world had just collapsed, and as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, he wished that his subconscious could submerge his soul into the dark comfort of a dream. If only it were all just a bad dream he could wake up and have his beautiful wife back in his arms.

"Andrew . . ." Andrew knew that voice. It was Sully's, and he didn't know how he could face him. In part, Andrew blamed himself. The child that Colleen had died giving birth to had been a child he'd help to create. How could he face Colleen's father now? How could he face a man who just might blame him too?

"I can't do this," Andrew said, his eyes staying shut as he sat slumped on the floor. Sully swallowed the lump in his throat. His heart was heavy from the passing of his oldest daughter, and the pain was doubling by the moment with memories of Abagail and Hanna's tragic and untimely deaths.

"I know it feels like that now. Ya feel like you're up to your chest in mud, and it's wrappin' 'round ya so hard and tight that ya feel like it's gonna crush the life out of ya." Sully leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, folded his arms across his chest and let out a long, heavy breath that seemed to ache with every moment that passed by. "That's how I felt after my Abagail died."

"Your wife," Andrew said softly.

"And Hanna, my little girl," Sully replied, tears forming in his eyes, knowing exactly what kind of pain Andrew was going through right now, only he knew that Andrew's pain was worse in a way, because Colleen had been his true love. Abagail had been the first woman Sully ever loved, but he'd found true love later. That wasn't going to happen for Andrew, and Sully could sense it. Colleen and Andrew were to one another what Michaela and Sully were. Soul mates. "I loved 'em so much, and the pain is still there, but it ain't what it used to be." Andrew shook his head. "I know that don't make much sense right now."

"Nothing makes sense, Sully!" Andrew yelled out. "All in the matter of a few hours, I became a widower and a single father who knows nothing about raising children! She shouldn't have left me! This is my fault!" Sully had known Andrew would say that. So many people placed blame upon themselves after a tragic loss, and in this chase, the blame wasn't being placed properly. There was nobody to blame here, and it was going to take time for everyone to accept that.

"It ain't your fault." Andrew stood up.

"The baby. She'll be hungry." Sully put his hand on Andrew's shoulder and squeezed it firmly to stop him from starting toward the stairs in his state-of-mind.

"Michaela's takin' care of her."

"Michaela?" Andrew asked, his hands trembling as they moved to his face to rub the tears and exhaustion from his eyes.

"She's feedin' her and takin' good care of her." Andrew felt his heart leap into his throat out of guilt. He knew he should be bonding with his new daughter and telling her how special her mother was, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't get past the fact that his wife's spirit had left the Earth, leaving her lifeless body lying in bloody sheets upon a bed in a dim little clinic in the dusty town of Colorado Springs.

"I need to get out of here," he said quietly. Sully shook his head.

"Ya need to spend time with the baby," he explained. "I woulda given anything to get to hold my baby 'fore she died, but I was busy screamin' up at the sky, askin' whoever was listenin' why they had to take my wife away from me. Hanna died before I even got to tell her I loved her." Andrew blinked and stared into the eyes of the grieving father in front of him.

"The baby . . . you're saying . . ."

"The baby's fine. All I'm sayin' is that ya don't wanna take that chance."

"I can't," Andrew said quietly. "I need to be alone." Andrew pushed his way past Sully, and a moment later, he was leaving the clinic to find a place where he could have some quiet and time to think. Sully decided to give the young man some time alone, because he knew that going after him and pressuring him to talk would get him nowhere.

He slowly placed his hand upon the stair rail and guided himself down into the small room where Michaela was finishing nursing their granddaughter.

"Sully?" Michaela asked, turning as she stood with the baby in her arms. She was relieved to see her husband, and she needed him to hold her and comfort her.

"Want me to take her?"

"Yes. Put her down with Beth, please?" Michaela asked as she handed the child over and began to button up her blouse. Sully nodded and carried the baby girl away. Michaela waited, feeling her head begin to pound from the tension in her body and heart.

The door opened, and Michaela turned to see her sons walking in with Katie in their arms.

"Sorry," Brian said quietly. "Katie was getting fussy, and we wanted to come see how you, Pa and Andrew were doin'."

"That was very sweet," Michaela whispered, placing her hand on her youngest son's cheek. "You don't have to be so strong for me, Brian. I know you miss your sister." She looked up at Matthew. "You too. The both of you have been with Colleen all of your lives, and I don't want you feeling obligated to stay strong for my sake." She wiped a tear away, and Matthew pulled her into a hug. She could hear his breath shaking as he inhaled slowly.

Brian was the next to hug her, and as he pulled away, he transferred Katie into her arms. They were all crying silently now, but Brian looked toward the stairs.

"How are we supposed to say goodbye?" Without another word, the two started up the stairs. Michaela watched them and bit her trembling bottom lip as they disappeared. She held Katie close to her body, and moved toward the window. She pushed back the lace of the curtain to see the sun beginning to shine through the clouds. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, taking it as a sign that Colleen was listening. She prayed silently until Sully came back, and when she felt him behind her; felt his arms encircle her and Katie, she leaned against him and felt the beating of his heart in his chest.

"We need to speak with Andrew."

"I did," Sully said quietly. "I told him to come down here for a while, but he didn't listen. He went off." Michaela spun in his arms.

"Sully, you didn't go after him?"

"I didn't think it was my place."

"You're Colleen's father, for goodness sakes! Of course it was your place!"

"I know what he's goin' through, Michaela, and I know he needs some time to himself."

"He needs to bond with his daughter." Michaela carried Katie into the other room, placed her down to play and re-joined Sully in the other room, keeping the door slightly ajar so she could listen for the children. "Sully, that little girl has just lost her mother, and she has absolutely no idea!"

"She's not the only one who lost Colleen. We all did," Sully whispered. Michaela closed her eyes and calmed herself before speaking again.

"Andrew is confused, Sully. He doesn't know which direction he's moving in, and he's a new father. He can't just seclude himself from everyone and everything. He has a child to think about now!"

"He needs time, Michaela!" Sully said impatiently, his own voice breaking.

"You think I don't know that?" Michaela wondered, her eyes gleaming from the painful memories. "I mourned David when I thought he was dead. I mourned him for years, Sully! And when you went missing after helping Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne escape from the reservation, I knew in my heart that you were alive, but my body was preparing me to mourn you anyway. Sully, I've lost so many people near and dear to me in my life, and I know that the best medicine is to have the support of the people you love." Sully took his wife's trembling hands in his.

"I know," he whispered, "but I also know that sortin' things out for yourself first can help ya see more clearly. Let's give him a little time. He's gonna have the rest of his life to be with his daughter. Right now, he needs to come to terms with the fact that Colleen ain't gonna get that chance." The reality of Sully's speech sat heavily in Michaela's heart, and she pulled her arms around him, holding him tightly against her. She needed his arms to hold her, and she needed him to tell her that it would work out and that Colleen was in a better place. As if he'd read her mind, Sully's arms snugly pulled him closer to his wife, and he whispered to her, assuring her that Colleen wasn't suffering anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Night fell, and preparations were being made for Colleen's funeral. Andrew hadn't returned from wherever he'd gone off too, so Michaela and Sully were at the church with the Reverend. Matthew and Brian were watching the children at the homestead. Nobody wanted to be at the clinic right now. It was too painful to stand downstairs knowing that Colleen was upstairs; sleeping for eternity.

Brian had barely spoken one word in the past few hours. Memories of Anthony's death and funeral were weighing heavily on his heart and mind, and Matthew was re-living Ingrid's death in the corner of his own mind. Everyone had lost someone they loved, and losing someone even closer seemed to hurt a million times more. Colleen had touched so many lives and had always been thoughtful and caring. She never would have hurt a living soul, and now she'd never get the chance to make a life of helping people through her own medical profession. That had been something she'd wanted more than anything besides her loving husband and child.

Colleen's baby and little Beth were napping upstairs in Michaela and Sully's bedroom. Katie was sitting in Matthew's lap, and he was trying to keep her entertained and happy. He didn't think a child so young should have to feel the pain of losing a sibling, though it happened more often than anyone could count.

The painful realization that Katie would never remember her big sister struck him. Colleen was never home, and only visited for a week or two out of the year. Katie loved her dearly, but she was too young to truly know her sister or what Colleen meant to everyone else.

Katie would never remember Colleen taking her into her arms and dressing her on her first day of life. She'd never remember Colleen placing her down in the hand-carved cradle and proudly announced that it had been made just for her by _their_ pa.

"She's with Ma now," Brian said softly, speaking for the first time in several hours. Matthew looked over at his brother who stood at the window. Rain was softly pelting down into the dusty soil as the clouds covered the moon, shielding lost souls from the illuminating light that could help them find their ways. Brian was reminded of the time there was an eclipse, and he and Colleen had fought over who got to look through the telescope that their grandmother had sent him all the way from Boston.

Matthew stood and carried Katie over toward the window. He stood behind his little brother.

"Ya probably don't remember this, but when you were 'bout three or so, Ma had to run across town to help a lady have her baby. I was left in charge of ya since we were in town anyway, and Colleen scooped ya up in her arms and promised to protect ya. She insisted on carryin' ya around all night, readin' ya stories and tuckin' ya into bed. She pretended that she was Ma for a little while, and you started callin' her Ma 'fore ya went to bed."

"I did?" Brian asked, his eyes brightening.

"Sure did. We were so scared that Ma was gonna come home and be mad that Colleen went outta her way to make ya mad at her. 'Course she hated doin' it, but when ya saw Ma the next mornin', ya went runnin' into her arms callin' her Ma. She never knew why ya were so happy to see her, but Colleen had the biggest smile on her face, knowin' that ya loved her so much."

"Coween," Katie said with a yawn, resting her head on her big brother's shoulder. Matthew rubbed her little back, soothing her into a deep sleep.

"Let me take her up to bed," Brian suggested, needing to feel helpful. He had silently decided that he was going to act more responsibly than ever. He was going to help his family out in any way that he could, even if that meant putting off his own schooling and work in the Gazette.

"Sure," Matthew said with a yawn. He slowly handed his baby sister over to her other brother. "I'm gonna go out to the barn and see if I can get some sleep." He didn't think that staying in the house would be a good idea. Even though Colleen's room had been turned into his after the old homestead caught fire, it had still been his sister's room before his. He didn't want to intrude. Brian looked at his brother with worry in his eyes. He didn't want to sound like a child, but he'd rather have his brother sleeping inside on that night. "Brian?"

"Ya think you could sleep inside tonight?"

"Brian . . ."

"Please? Just 'cause it was Colleen's room first . . ."

"Brian . . ." Over the past few months, during his frequent visits from school, he had started building his own homestead, and he only stayed with his family on nights that he stayed late after dinner. Other times, he slept at the boarding house in town.

"Matthew, I'm sure Ma and Pa would feel better if ya stayed." That was it. Matthew couldn't turn his brother down on this night. After everything that had just happened, family was more important than ever, and he intended to keep his family together after such a terrible loss.

"Alright, little brother. G'nite."

"Night," Brian replied with a sad smile. He started up the stairs with Katie in his arms, and Matthew moved to keep watch at the window. He looked out at the barn, hearing the horses stomping and neighing with fright from the storm. But he looked past it all, staring into the deep, dark abyss that appeared to be the entrance to the barn. He could still hear Ingrid screaming and Pup snarling. He could still feel Ingrid gasping for breath in his arms. He could still feel the worry he felt after the bite and the pain of losing her.

Ingrid had gone to a better place, Matthew could only hope. And wherever she was, she was with so many loving people. Now Colleen was there with her, and they would spend forever looking down and watching over him and over the family. That's what Matthew wanted to believe more than anything, but he also didn't know how there could be a kingdom where people could spend a blissful eternity after death when it meant that so many happy, loving people had to suffer in order for that place to be created.

Everything had changed in such a short time. Ingrid had died, he'd met Emma, and she'd gone away. He'd given up being sheriff and gone off to law school. Now he was home on a break from his schooling, and he'd decided not to go back. At least not yet anyway. He wanted to spend time with his family, and he was going to do whatever he had to do to make this situation easier on everyone he loved.

He walked over to sit down at the table. One of his law books was lying open to page three hundred and forty five. He sat down, knowing that even though he was wiring his professors in the morning to inform them of his decidedly prolonged stay, he shouldn't neglect his studies completely. So, he settled down at the table, propped his chin upon his fist, and he began to scan the words on the page. But, the words seemed so foreign and unusual to him. They blurred together in an endless stream of confusion. His eyes hurt, and he hated the fact that he couldn't even escape hurting for one moment. As soon as he'd started reading, he'd started thinking about how Colleen had been so studious in school. He felt as if he was disappointing her somehow.

But, when he had started thinking of Colleen, his mind drifted to Andrew, and anger built up inside of him. Where was he? He was supposed to have been going to speak with the Revered about Colleen's arrangements. The only thing anyone knew without a shadow of a doubt was that Colleen wanted to be buried in Colorado Springs. She'd made that clear a while back when she'd witnessed a young woman dying with all of her friends and family around. She had expressed to Andrew and to her parents in a rather morbid letter that if anything were to happen, she wanted to rest in peace in the quiet town of Colorado Springs where she could be near her family. Andrew had understood at the time, but he had never expected her death to be this soon. He'd expected to grow old and gray with her. Now, he was God knows where, and Sully and Michaela had the painful burden of making the arrangements with the Reverend.

Matthew wished he wasn't feeling so weak and exhausted. He wished he could ride out and find Andrew. He wanted to beat some sense into him. Andrew needed to be with his family and his newborn daughter. Mostly happy memories and a newborn baby girl were what was left of Colleen. Those were the two precious things that her family needed to hold on to, but Andrew didn't seem to be doing much of that at the moment.

Lightning struck, lighting up the entire night sky for no more than a second or two. In that short span of time, Matthew could see a wagon barreling down the dirt road, which had turned to soft, gooey mud. Michaela and Sully were returning from their meeting with Reverend Johnson. He watched as the wagon came to a halt. Sully helped his wife down and then moved off to unhitch the wagon and settle the horses for the night.

Michaela came through the door, soaked to the bone from the rain.

"I'm sorry we're late," she said softly. "Are the children sleeping?"

"The babies are sleepin', and Brian just took Katie up." Michaela nodded.

"Thank you for making sure things were taken care of around here while we were out."

"I'm here to help if ya need me."

"Thank you." Michaela kissed her son upon the cheek. Matthew helped her with her wet coat, and he watched her rush up the stairs to tend to the feedings of the youngest members of the family. Matthew brought a chair over toward the hearth and placed Michaela's coat over the back of it. He knew the warmth would eventually dry the coat, and there would be no use of hanging it out to dry on such a rainy evening.

Sully came through the door a few minutes later, his hair soaking wet and clinging to his equally wet coat. Sully peeled the garment off of his body and placed it with Michaela's to dry.

"Kids sleepin'?"

"Yeah," Matthew replied. "Brian probably ain't, but he just took Katie up not long ago." Sully nodded. "How'd everything go?"

"It was hard," Sully replied, swallowing and crouching down at the heart to rub and warm his hands over the flames that seemed to break and shy at the presence of his cold, clammy hands. "But, we got through it. The funeral's gonna be tomorrow morning." Matthew nodded gently.

"Probably ought to tell Andrew."

"He ain't here?"

"No," Matthew replied, watching his father rise.

"We checked the clinic first, but he wasn't there." Sully shook his head. "Must still be out in the rain."

"Want me to go look for him?" Sully shook his head.

"No. I'll go. Let me go check on your Ma first."

"I should go, Sully. Dr. Mike needs ya right now."

"Matthew, I . . ."

"Let me go!" Matthew replied. "Colleen was my baby sister, and the least I can do is go find her husband so he'll know to be here for the funeral tomorrow!" He hadn't meant to lash out, but everything had been happening so quickly. His anger and confusion over Colleen's death was eating at him, and he figured that focusing on finding Andrew would help his spirits a little.

"Alright," Sully said quietly, putting his hand on his son's shoulder. "Be careful."

"I will." Matthew gave his father a hug. Sully was surprised, but he welcomed the hug with open arms, knowing his oldest son was hanging onto his family for dear life. The Sully family was forever changed now, and Sully knew that they'd never take the small things for granted anymore. The events of today had forced everyone to see how fragile life could be and how easily it could be snatched away.

Matthew left a moment later, pulling his hat and coat on. Though it was early June, the rain cooled the night off tremendously, leaving need for something to keep a person warm. Sully moved toward the kitchen cupboard and pulled out what items she used to make chamomile tea. He could hear the rocking chair moving upstairs, and he knew she was taking care of the girls. It was going to be even more difficult on her, because not only did she have her patients to worry about, but she had her own heart to mend and two newborn infants who would need her around the clock.

By the time Sully made it up to the bedroom with the two steaming cups in his hands, Michaela had just finished with the girls and had changed into a dry night gown. She was standing by the bureau and looking down at something in her hands. It was a photo taken of Colleen and Andrew on their wedding day. How beautiful and natural they'd looked together; they looked so loving and sweet with one another. How quickly things had changed. They'd gone from being happily married to being young newlyweds with a baby on the way, which caused tension and stress to build up between the two of them. At least, as Michaela thought back, Colleen's letters had sounded a bit tense. Michaela ran her fingers over the beautiful photo of her daughter and son-in-law.

"Charlotte would have been so proud," she whispered.

"She sure would have," Sully added. Michaela smiled a little and placed the frame back down on the bureau. When Michaela turned to face her husband, she saw him holding a cup out to her. She put up a hand and shook her head.

"No thank you," she whispered.

"Michaela, ya gotta keep your strength up." She felt too tired to argue with him on this one, so she accepted the cup and took a long, relaxing sip. As she felt the liquid warm her body, she smiled gratefully at her husband. He put his arm around her and led her toward the bed. They sat down upon the edge, and Sully's hand gently caressed his wife's arm. Her head leaned on his shoulder as she continued to drink her tea. Sully finished his shortly before his wife, and the comfortable silence they were in was broken by a clap of thunder and lightning.

"Did Matthew come up to bed?" Sully was silent for a moment.

"No. He went out."

"Out? In this weather? What on earth could he possibly be doing right now!" She stood from the bed and moved to put her robe on over her nightgown.

"He's lookin' for Andrew," Sully replied. Michaela started for the door, but Sully stopped her. "I was gonna go, but he wouldn't give up. He wanted to go alone."

"Sully, I don't want him out there during this storm!"

"He'll be fine, Michaela. He's gone through a lot in his lifetime, so I think he can weather one storm."

"Tonight of all nights," she whispered, brushing a tear away. "Sully, I want him home. I can't bear the thought of losing another child." Sully's fingers caressed her tear-stained cheek.

"Matthew's fine."

"So was Colleen," Michaela answered. "In an instant, it all changed, and I need to know that my children are safe!" Sully nodded.

"Want me to go after him?" Michaela didn't want to be alone right now, but she also didn't want her son out there exposed to the elements. She didn't want her husband out there either, but she knew Sully could take care of himself. He'd survived years without much shelter at all.

"Will you be careful?"

"Always," Sully whispered. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she clung to him, not wanting to let go. "I don't wanna leave ya alone."

"I'll be fine," she whispered. "Just come back safely."

"I will. I promise." He kissed his wife softly and went back down to put on his wet coat. A moment later, he was heading out toward the barn to ready a horse for a very rainy adventure.

* * *

Andrew had wandered around aimlessly for hours, searching for an answer to his problems, but he'd managed to find his way back to the church. He'd lit a lantern, and he was sitting in the front pew. His hands were clasped together so tightly that the color had practically drained from them. They were white and shaking. He was shivering from the cold, wet clothes that clung to his back. He felt like he was being choked by invisible hands, and he was praying to God to save him from the misery he was feeling at that very moment.

The clock on the far wall ticked away, and to Andrew, it was the loudest sound in the world. To him, it was ticking his life away second by unstoppable second. If he sat there long enough, perhaps he'd be with Colleen sooner than he thought.

Outside, Matthew's horse came to a stop when he tugged gently on the reigns at the sight of light coming from the church.

"C'mon," he urged the horse, rushing him toward the church as the raindrops began to dig into the soil like billions of tiny needles. The horse snorted but complied, and a moment later, Matthew's wet boots sloshed as he stepped up onto the porch under the awning of the church. The doors were pushed open a little, so Matthew pushed them completely open and peered toward the front of the church. He saw Andrew's slumped-over form, and the urge to grab him by the throat and throttle the life out of him subsided. Understanding filled Matthew's heart, and he knew from experience that Andrew was dealing with his grief in his own way. At least he wasn't drowning his sorrows and looking for peace at the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

Deciding that Andrew was safe from the storm and would most likely spend the rest of the evening at the church, Matthew decided to let him be and head back toward home. Home? Did he truly have a home anymore? After everything that had happened, he wasn't quite sure where home really was. It surely wasn't back at school where he spent all of his time studying law. It wasn't the old homestead, because it was nothing but a pile of ashes now. The only place that truly felt like home anymore was the homestead that Sully had built for his family. When the family had moved into the homestead, Matthew had stayed apart from them at the old homestead, but living with them again felt better than ever. Family was more important now than ever, especially after this incredibly awful tragedy.

Andrew heard Matthew turn, and he looked over his shoulder. He saw his brother-in-law and slowly turned his head back toward the altar.

"If you came to pray, don't mind me," Andrew said softly.

"Didn't come to pray," Matthew replied, facing the double doors at the back of the church. "I was out lookin' for ya. The whole family's worried about ya." Andrew closed his eyes and rested his chin on his knuckles.

"I'm fine."

"Ya sure don't seem like it." Matthew's boots tapped on the wooden floorboards of the church as he made his way to sit down beside Andrew in the front pew. "She loved you a lot, ya know?"

"I know," Andrew replied, swallowing hard. "She loved you and the rest of the family very much. I'd catch her staring at the last photo you had taken of the family shortly before Beth was born. She loved seeing you all together; smiling."

"It wasn't the same without her here. Wasn't the same without you either, Andrew. You're a part of the family too." Matthew paused for a moment. "And now ya got a daughter that needs ya." Andrew nodded.

"I know," he whispered. He gave Matthew a faint smile that filled Matthew with the hope that Andrew would be able to meet his daughter for the first time before they buried Colleen forever. He needed to connect with his daughter, and these first days of her life were very crucial. She needed her father's love.

"Why don't ya come to the homestead tonight?"

"No. The Reverend already offered the church for me to sleep in tonight. I spoke with him not long ago. He told me the funeral is tomorrow morning." Matthew nodded. "I'll be alright."

"Andrew, ya gotta meet your daughter sometime."

"I will. I just need to be alone right now. Please, just let me be."

"Ya can't avoid us forever, Andrew."

"That's not what I'm doing, Matthew. I just lost my wife, and I'd like to remember her in my own way."

"And that's fine. But just remember, a lot of other people lost her too." He swallowed hard. Matthew turned away and left the church, sure that Andrew only needed a little more time to grasp the situation. Perhaps nobody had fully felt the entire impact yet. But, only time would tell how long it would take to heal. Maybe they'd never heal.

* * *

Sully had met Matthew halfway on his way into town to look for him. They'd ridden back to the homestead quickly, and Michaela was more than relieved when she heard both horses approaching. When she peered out of the window, she watched the scene below her illuminate from the lightning. There she saw her eldest son and her loving husband rushing toward the homestead to be greeted by a warm, inviting fire.

She pulled her robe around her tightly and started down the stairs in her bare feet. Sully and Matthew were just hanging their coats near the fire to dry when they heard her soft footsteps on the firm oak steps.

"I'm so glad you're both home," she whispered so she wouldn't wake the sleeping children. "You didn't find Andrew?"

"I found him," Matthew announced. "He was at the church, and he said he was gonna stay there for the night. I tried to convince him to come back with me so he can be with the baby, but he didn't wanna leave the church." Michaela and Sully exchanged solemn glances.

"Maybe we all better go try to get some sleep," Sully suggested, patting his son on the back. "We're gonna need to rest up for tomorrow." Michaela's eyes looked toward the floor, and after giving her son a kiss on the cheek, she turned and started up the stairs with Sully following right behind her.

When they were in the comfort of their bedroom, Michaela removed her robe and draped it over the end of the bed. She walked to the window and crossed her bare arms over her chest. Sully slipped out of his wet clothes and dried himself off before turning down the bed and slipping beneath the covers. He knew that walking over to Michaela and reaching out to her wouldn't do much good at the moment. He knew she was merely reflecting on the day's events, so he wanted to give her time.

He turned the oil lamps down and let the simple glow of the fire in the hearth illuminate Michaela's path to the bed. Once she was finished at the window, she turned and brought herself to bed.

Sully had expected her to turn her back, close her eyes and pretend to sleep, but to his surprise, she snuggled under the covers and tucked herself under his arm to lie against his chest. He didn't want to push her away, and having her in his arms made things seem a little better.

"Sully?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Hmm?" His hand moved to gently stroke her arm.

"I love you. I don't think I tell you enough."

"'Course ya do. Ya tell me every day at least once a day, and ya never give me a reason to think you'll stop." He kissed the top of her head and let out a soft breath. "I love you too." He pulled his arms more snugly around her and felt her heart beating against his chest. He knew she wasn't going to sleep, and he knew he wouldn't sleep either, but they could at least take comfort in one another's arms and know that even in the darkest moments of their lives, they'd always have someone to turn to; to lean on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Michaela pulled herself out of bed before the sun rose when little Beth began to cry. She hadn't slept a moment, and neither had Sully, but they had pretended for the other's sake. Sully sat up in bed, stretching his aching muscles as he watched his wife take Beth to the rocking chair for a feeding. He watched her play with Beth's tiny fingers and toes, and he saw a smile play across her lips as Beth gripped her mother's finger firmly.

The morning was surprisingly bright. As he sat in bed and watched the sunlight filter through the curtains and spread patterns upon the floor, he realized that it was the day of Colleen's funeral. Funerals weren't supposed to be on sunny days. They were supposed to be on cloudy or stormy days. Maybe Colleen would have preferred it like this.

"Mama, Mama, Mama!" Katie exclaimed, her tiny fists barely making noise as they pounded on the door. Michaela glanced at Sully, and without words, Sully hopped out of bed, pulled on his newly dry pants and walked over to open the door. He was greeted by young Katie standing in her nightgown with a doll in one hand. The expression on her face was the same one her mother wore when she was impatient, and she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"What is it, Katie?" Sully asked, scooping his little girl up into his arms.

"Out!" she exclaimed, her little face turning red. Sully looked over at Michaela. "Hurry! Hurry, Poppy!" Sully knew exactly what his daughter was referring to. She needed to use the outhouse. Her timing was getting better and better, and the accidents were occurring less and less frequently. Her bed sheets hadn't had to be changed in weeks, much to her parents' pride and relief.

"Alright, c'mon kiddo." He rushed down the stairs as if a fire was in progress, and he raced barefoot across the lot toward the outhouse. Michaela smiled a little as she heard Katie hollering all the way, urging him on as if he were a slow horse.

Beth pulled away, not wanting to eat anymore, and Michaela frowned. Her daughter was usually an excellent eater in the mornings. Her medical side told her that it shouldn't be anything to worry about yet, unless it would start to happen more frequently, but her maternal side told her that Beth could sense something was wrong.

"Try to eat a little more, sweetheart," Michaela crooned, gently massing her daughter's cheek. But, the baby turned her mouth away, and Michaela sighed with disappointment. "It's alright. We'll try later." She kissed Beth's forehead and took her back over to the bassinet. She began to dress for the day, pulling on the black dress she wore for sad occasions. But, black would be something she'd be wearing for a long time to come, or at least until her heart told her that mourning wasn't going to make a bit of difference. Colleen was still gone, and there was no changing that.

It wasn't long before Colleen's daughter began to wail, and Michaela paused to nurse her as well. By the time Sully returned with Katie, he was in need of a bath. So, with two hours until the funeral, the Sully family cleaned up and had breakfast in silence. The food tasted better than usual that morning, but thoughts of Colleen and her love of cooking weighed on their minds, making knots sit like lumps of coal in their stomachs.

When it was nearly time to head into town, Brian and Matthew went outside to hitch the wagon. Michaela had gone upstairs to ready the younger children for the trip into town, and Sully knew she was holding back from crying. She'd come close a few times at breakfast.

"Michaela?" He walked into the bedroom to see Katie sitting upon their bed in her dark blue dress with a black shawl and a bonnet. She was holding her favorite doll in her hands and watching Michaela as she swaddled the babies.

"Yes?" came her short and shaky response.

"It's 'bout time to go."

"Alright," Michaela whispered. Sully moved to pick up Katie. She settled on his hip, and he walked over beside Michaela and took Beth into his other arm.

"It ain't gonna be easy to say goodbye."

"How are we supposed to do this, Sully?" Michaela asked, clutching the unnamed infant close to her heart. "I've never lost a child before." A tear trickled down her cheek, and Sully felt his own tears threatening to fall.

"It's always gonna hurt, Michaela," he whispered. "I'm pretty sure 'bout that. It still hurts to think about Hanna." Michaela placed her hand upon Sully's cheek. Today was going to be especially difficult for him. This was the second daughter Sully had lost, but this daughter hadn't been a helpless infant. She'd been a beautiful young woman who was full of life and had so much love to give. Her light had gone out, and the family it had shined upon was lost and confused without their beloved daughter, sister, wife and mother. She'd been all of that at once, and in the blink of an eye she was gone. "We'll get through this somehow. It's gonna take time." Michaela merely nodded, and Sully turned to leave the room with his daughters in his arms. Michaela lingered with the newborn and looked down at her.

"You look so much like your mother and your grandmother. Charlotte was a wonderful woman, and your mother is with her now. They're smiling down on you, little one, and I'll make sure you know about them. You'll know how special your mother and grandmother were. I promise." She kissed the baby's nose, and the little one let out a soft squeak. Michaela took a deep breath and turned to join the rest of her family.

On her way toward the staircase, she passed Colleen's bedroom and stopped in front of the door. She closed her eyes, remembering the time she was helping her pack for her first year of school at the Colorado Seminary College. Colleen had been so excited about going off for further education, but she'd been hesitant about leaving while Katie was so young. Now her room stood empty with the memory of its first occupant still clinging to the bed sheets and the curtains.

A moment later, Michaela placed her hand upon the closed door, almost believing that she felt Colleen's presence in the room. But, the baby began to fuss, causing her to turn away and start down the stairs. It was time to say goodbye forever.

* * *

As the wagon rumbled into town, it left a trail of wheel tracks in the soft mud that surrounded the foundations of every building in Colorado Springs. Matthew and Brian were sitting in the back of the wagon with Colleen's daughter, Katie and Beth. They held the girls close, and Sully took the easier roads so the ride would be comfortable for the little ones.

Michaela had suggested stopping by the clinic, because Katie had managed to get something on her dress already, and Michaela wanted to clean it off before the service. So, Sully pulled the wagon up outside of the clinic and helped his wife out of the wagon.

"Matthew, Brian, will ya stay in the wagon?" Sully asked, wanting everything to go smoothly and easily before the dreaded funeral service. Nobody was looking forward to it. Nobody wanted to say goodbye to such a lively young woman.

"Sure, Pa," Brian replied with a responsible nod. Sully took Katie into his arms and followed his wife into the clinic. Sully put their little girl on the examining table so she wouldn't run around, and Michaela silently went about finding water and the supplies to clean off the bit of mud that had dried to Katie's dress. That was when Sully noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Two envelopes were on Michaela's desk, one stacked neatly on top of the other. Sully waited until Michaela came to take care of the mud stain, and he moved toward her desk. As he got closer, he noticed that the top envelope was addressed to Michaela and himself.

"Michaela?"

"Hmm?" Michaela asked softly as she gently rubbed the spot out of Katie's dress. For the most part, she merely wanted to stop and clean Katie up to distract her thoughts from the upcoming funeral. It wasn't working, however, because even the simple task of cleaning a dirty child reminded her of Colleen and how helpful she'd always been.

"There's an envelope with our names on it."

"What?" Michaela looked over to see Sully holding the top envelope in his hands.

"Looks like Andrew's handwritin'." Fear rose in Michaela's heart, and she looked down to see that the stain had pretty much gone away. She scooped Katie up into her arms and held her at her hip. She moved to stand beside Sully.

"What does it say?" Sully's usually calm hands now shook as he fumbled to slip the folded piece of paper from the unsealed envelope. He briefly glanced down at the words and then back up at Michaela. He swallowed hard as her eyes searched his. "Please, Sully. Read it." Sully cleared his throat and focused his eyes on the words that Andrew had scribbled upon the piece of paper:

_"Dear Michaela and Sully,_

_How can I ever thank you enough for taking care of such a wonderful young girl and raising her to be such an incredible woman? Colleen was the one light of my life, and I find myself living in a world of darkness without her. She and I have a daughter together now, and I don't know how to be a father. I was worried enough about us being parents so soon, but now that Colleen's gone, I don't think I have the strength to take my daughter back to Boston and raise her all alone. I can't do it now, and I can't bear to let myself go to Colleen's funeral and say goodbye. I'm on my way to Boston, and I hope that one day I will have the courage to meet my daughter. I know the both of you can give her a good home, and you can tell her all about how wonderful her mother was. You can tell her about Colleen's smile; her laugh. Make sure to tell her how smart her mother was and how much the both of us wanted her to be our little girl. I don't want to leave her, but I have no choice. What kind of a life would she have living with my uncle's and maids and with nannies I may not be able to afford, while I'm off at the hospital? I want to be a full-time father, but until I can stable myself financially, I don't see myself being able to raise her. I know you'll be angry. I'm angry with myself. But, you both have hearts as big as the entire world, and I know Julia will be loved. Colleen never knew it, but I found a list she'd written out, and it was a list of baby names. Julia Michaela Cook was at the top of that list. I've written a separate letter for Julia, and I would like for her to read it someday when she's old enough to understand. Hopefully, I can come back for her soon and explain it all myself._

_Andrew." _

Sully and Michaela's eyes met, and Michaela was already in tears. Her heart felt absolutely ripped apart, and she didn't want to think about it now. She looked at Katie and then at Sully.

"Michaela, we gotta talk about this."

"Not now," she whispered. "Not until after the service." She adjusted Katie in her arms and left Sully behind in the clinic. Sully took one last look at the letter in his hands, placed it back in the envelope and put it back on Michaela's desk where he'd found it. It was too much to think about, and once the funeral was over and things started to wind down, he knew that he and Michaela would have to have a serious discussion.

* * *

The funeral service was probably the hardest thing that the Sully family had had to go through together. Matthew stared at the pile of earth that lay on top of the coffin after the service, and he remembered how he stood by Ingrid's grave, praying that it was all just a dream after her funeral.

Michaela had held Julia in her arms and rocked her back and forth, hoping that she'd wake up and it would all have just been a dream. Not even Andrew was there to mourn Colleen's passing. No, he was on a train back to Boston, mourning in his own way. But it angered Michaela that he didn't show up for his wife's burial. He had never met his daughter or said goodbye. He just left, and Michaela was reminded of Ethan. How would Colleen feel about Andrew running out just like Ethan had done? Those had been far different circumstances, but this child was still left without her father, and her mother was sleeping for eternity.

As the funeral guests left, they all whispered their condolences to the grieving family. Michaela hadn't heard half of them over the screaming sobs that were running through her head. On the outside, however, she contained herself for the sake of the children, and the tears flowed silently.

Sully, Michaela, and the children stood at the grave for an hour after the guests left. Matthew was the first to speak after that hour had passed.

"Why wasn't Andrew here?" he asked, looking up at Sully with teary eyes and a red nose from crying. Brian looked up at Sully, curious as well. Michaela looked at Sully, not wanting to hear that Andrew was gone again. As if he had read her mind, Sully cleared his throat and adjusted Katie on his hip.

"Let's take the girls back to the wagon; give your Ma a minute." Michaela passed Julia over to Matthew and watched as her family walked away. She knew Sully wanted to spare her from hearing it all again, and he wanted to tell Matthew and Brian in his own way. How was he going to break it to his sons that their brother-in-law had gone away without even saying goodbye?

"Colleen," Michaela whispered, touching the wooden plaque that marked Colleen's grave, Perhaps someday they would be able to afford something more permanent. "Andrew is grieving in his own way. I must believe that. I don't like thinking that he abandoned your daughter. I know he loves her. He's scared, but he needs his family; he needs us." Michaela closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "I promise, Colleen, we'll take care of Julia. We'll be good to her, and we'll be sure she always feels loved. I love you, sweetheart." She placed a kiss upon her gloved fingertips and pressed her fingertips upon the wooden marker. A moment later, she turned and left the graveyard. As she stepped out from the shadow of the oak tree, the sun warmed her face and began shining even brighter, it seemed.

Brian and Matthew were sitting in the back of the wagon, and they were holding Beth and Julia. Katie was sitting comfortably between them, and after Sully helped his wife into the wagon, the family started off toward the homestead to have a quiet afternoon together. They'd decided not to have guests after the service, because they wanted the time alone to reflect on the past. They were all pretty sure it was going to be silent around the homestead for a little while.

Nobody spoke a word on the ride home. Matthew was angry about what Andrew had done, and Brian didn't know what to say to ease the pain that everyone, including himself, was feeling. Even a usually noisy Katie was quiet, catching on from the mood of her family that this was not a time to play around and seek attention.

As soon as the wagon pulled up in front of the homestead, Sully helped Michaela down and walked with his family into the homestead. Brian and Matthew immediately took the little ones upstairs, and Sully placed Katie down on a blanket to play. Katie looked up at her parents curiously, but she was distracted a moment later when she found her favorite toy. Sully pulled his arms around his wife, and she willingly went into his long embrace and rested her head on his chest.

"It's over now," Sully said quietly referring to the funeral as he stroked his wife's back. She let out a heavy sigh.

"It's only beginning." She pulled back a bit, looked into his eyes and brought her hand to his cheek to brush away a tear that had escaped. "Our daughter is gone, but her daughter isn't. Julia needs us now."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Andrew's forehead pressed against the warm glass of the window in his train car. The fields and hills were rolling past as the train sped on toward Boston. Never in a million years had Andrew thought he'd be taking this trip alone again. He had expected to have his wife and baby at his side, but those plans had changed. He was alone, and he expected he would remain that way for quite some time, forever in fact. He wasn't ready to be a husband without a wife; a father to a motherless child.

Though it was hot on the crowded train, Andrew couldn't help but pull his overcoat even tighter around his shaking body. He couldn't control the pain that his heart was in, and he couldn't get over the grief and guilt he felt for leaving Julia in Colorado Springs.

He wondered what Michaela and Sully thought of him now. Surely they had found the letter he'd left. He knew they wouldn't open the letter he'd written to Julia. He knew that Julia would open it and read it for herself one day, whether it was before or after she and her father were reunited. He couldn't take his daughter back and never tell her about how her grandparents cared for her as a newborn and how he left to make a better life for himself before bringing her home.

The cries of a young boy startled Andrew out of his thoughts, and he looked back a few seats to see a sweet-faced young woman holding a squirming toddler in her lap. The young woman was small-framed with straight, reddish-brown hair that was pulled up in a bun. Her clothes were fair but pretty, and it was obvious that she came from a family of some money, but she was not wealthy by any means.

"James, please!" the young woman whispered, trying not to make the situation worse. They had only been on the train for a few hours, but sitting still that long was dreadfully boring for a child of this young James' age.

"Papa!" the boy cried. "I want Papa!" Andrew shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wondering if his little girl would cry out for him like that someday, and he wouldn't be there to comfort her tears. The young mother's cheeks blushed an obvious shade of crimson as a few grumpy faces scowled in her direction. It wasn't exactly her fault that her child was screaming, but she couldn't help but look as if she felt guilty.

"That's enough, James. You mustn't cry. We'll be home in a few days." Andrew turned his pale face back toward the sunlight that glared painfully through the glass of the window. Why did the sun have to be so bright on the darkest day of his life?

Young James screamed out loud again, and a few huffy old women picked up their money pouches and moved to the front of the car. Andrew closed his eyes and slumped down in his seat, not at all sitting like a gentleman from Boston. He didn't care at that point in time. He just wanted to shrink into the quiet comfort of his oversized coat and possibly catch a few hours of sleep.

His back began to hurt, and he sighed with exhaustion. Andrew sat up in his seat and straightened his coat out. He began to feel warm, so he removed the heavy burden, neatly folded it and placed it beside himself on the seat. As he was doing so, he could hear the young boy's cries beginning to quiet to a squeaky whimper. He looked back to see the young woman rocking her son back and forth slowly and humming a sweet song to him.

"It's alright darling," she crooned to her son. "Just rest your eyes now." Andrew swallowed hard as he watched the mother with her child. Something about the scene was so breathtaking and heartbreaking at the same time.

"Mama," the boy whimpered before falling into a restful sleep. Andrew wished he hadn't heard it. He wished he wasn't even on the train anymore. He wanted to hold his daughter in his arms and forget about the rest of the world, but he couldn't do that now. He couldn't face Colleen's family, and he couldn't take care of Julia on his own. Not now. Not yet.

He turned his attention back toward the window and watched as the sun played Hike-and-Seek behind the clouds. He closed his eyes to a memory that would forever rest in the bottom of his heart.

* * *

_"Andrew, come feel!" Colleen exclaimed as Andrew brought her breakfast tray into the bedroom. Colleen had been feeling weak for the past few days and was resting up before their trip to Colorado Springs. _

_"Is it kicking again?" Andrew asked, placing the tray on the bedside table and sitting down at Colleen's side. She nodded eagerly and took her husband's hand. Andrew reveled at the feeling of his son or daughter kicking swiftly in its mother's womb. He could feel the little feet against his palm, and he was amazed that the little being inside of his wife was there partly because of him. He was an incredible feeling to know that a living human being was about to be born because of the love he and his wife had for one another._

_"Our baby's strong, Andrew," Colleen said with a smile. "So don't worry anymore." _

_"I'm not worried," Andrew said, shaking off his wife's comment. Colleen gave him a skeptical glance. _

_"You don't have to pretend on account of me. I know you're worried. I've been worried too, but I know in my heart that our baby is going to be fine. Trust me, Andrew. Nothin' bad is gonna happen to our baby." Andrew merely nodded and pressed a kiss to his wife's hand._

_"Rest now. Our baby needs you to be strong."

* * *

_

A loud screech followed by a violent jolt woke Andrew from his thoughts. He stood and looked around to find the other passengers staring out at the still countryside. The train had stopped, and the conductor was making his way onto the car.

"Nothing to worry about, folks. It's just a little trouble with the engine, but we should be up and running in fifteen minutes or so." The man left as quickly as he'd arrived in order to let the passengers in the other trains know what the problem was. Andrew observed the grumpy ladies at the front of the car sharing disapproving glances and whispering something about how this was the worst trip they'd ever taken by train and how they would rather take their chances with the "savage Indians" than ride for days on end in these despicable conditions.

Andrew ignored the loud whispers of the older women at the front of the car and moved his attention to the back. Young James had started to cry again, and his mother was desperately trying to calm him before the older ladies decided to give her a piece of their mind about her horrid mothering abilities. They'd been casting frowns upon her ever since she'd stepped onto the train two days earlier, and she only wanted to get out and stretch her legs and breathe a breath of fresh air.

"Here James," the young woman said, pulling a toy from her pocket. James' tantrum got the better of him, however, and he tossed it away. The small wooden bear carving landed with a loud clunk at Andrew's feet. The young mother's cheeks began to glow with crimson again, and Andrew slowly picked up the toy. He studied it carefully for a moment, and the toy reminded him of some of those that Sully had made for Katie and Beth. He had even found a few in the Sully barn under piles of dust. They'd most likely been there since Brian was younger and forgotten as he had grown up into a young man. "James! Don't be rude!" Andrew slowly stood and made his way to stand in front of the young woman and her child. The woman stood, and Andrew found that she stood about two inches shorter than him. "I'm so sorry, sir. My little boy is getting fussy. We've been on the train for a few days, and the only chance we had to stretch our legs was shortly before the train pulled out of Colorado Springs. I believe that was when you came aboard."

"That's right," Andrew replied, his mouth dry. "I believe this belongs to your son." He handed her the carving.

"Here you are," she said with a smile, adjusting the boy on her hip and handing him the carving. She tenderly wiped away his tears before extending a hand to the kind gentleman who had assisted her during her son's mild tantrum. "I'm Molly."

"Andrew," Andrew replied with a smile. James began to squirm again, and with great reluctance, Molly left her conversation with the kind gentleman to tend to her fussy child. Andrew turned and sat down in his seat again. He closed his eyes and felt his tears burning to be let out.

Molly watched the troubled man from afar, and she wondered what his story was. She had met many people in her lifetime, and she knew that the happiest and saddest of people had their own stories that told why they were so happy or sad. She knew one thing, however, and that was that for whatever reason he had been leaving Colorado Springs, he had done it in a hurry without looking back at the place he was leaving behind.

* * *

Dinner had been very quiet that evening. Nobody felt like eating, but they all needed to keep their strength up to be able to get through the next day and the days to come after that. It was going to take a day at a time to get through the awful mess that was before them, but with time, it would be a week at a time and then a month. Somehow it was going to get easier, but for now, they were dealing with the present and hoping that the next day would bring some comfort to them.

Brian had done the dinner dishes without being asked once, and Matthew was helping him to dry and put them away. Michaela and Sully were upstairs trying to settle the little ones into bed for the night. The task wasn't simple, because though Julia and Beth were already sleeping, snuggled up together in one cradle, Katie wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet, and she continued to climb out of her bed and join her parents in their bedroom.

"Katie," Sully said with exasperation in his voice. "This is the fifth time you've come in here. Ya need to be a big girl, and go sleep in your room."

"Not tired, Poppy!" she insisted. Michaela watched her daughter and husband for a moment before sitting down on the floor beside the cradle. She began to rock it slowly as Sully took Katie down the hall to her room.

Michaela watched her daughter and granddaughter sleeping so snugly together. Neither of them knew what they were to one another. Julia had no idea that this other child, who was only a week older than she, was her aunt. For all they knew, they were sisters, and for the time being, they were cradle mates.

"None of this makes sense," Michaela whispered. "But we'll work things out, little ones. Somehow, we'll work things out." She heard Sully's footsteps coming back down the hall, and she looked toward the doorway. He came into the room and shut the door behind himself.

"I think she's gonna stay in bed now." Michaela nodded slowly.

"Good. She's had a long day."

"We all have." Sully held his hand out to his wife and helped her up. "I think we need to talk."

"We did."

"No, Michaela. We ain't really talked about it at all. We gotta figure out how we're gonna handle this."

"Sully, please," Michaela began, turning to face the hearth so she could spare Sully from seeing the tears in her eyes again. Sully's hands rested upon her shoulders, and he leaned in to rest his cheek against hers.

"This ain't easy for any of us, Michaela." Michaela drew away from her husband and moved the window. Sully felt so cold when she pulled away from him. All he wanted to do was hold her and comfort her, but he knew it wasn't a good time right now. She was tired, and so much pain and pressure was resting in her heart. "We gotta do this together."

"I know that," Michaela whispered. "I just don't want to think about it right now, Sully. It's too soon!"

"It ain't too soon," Sully replied calmly. "There are kids involved, and we can't put off what they need just 'cause we're hurtin' too." Michaela turned to face him, and she looked as if she had been slapped in the face.

"Sully, do you think I'm being selfish?"

"'Course not."

"You obviously think that I'm only thinking of my own feelings and that I'm not thinking about the children. I'm especially thinking of the children! Julia didn't ask to be motherless and abandoned by her father!"

"I didn't say ya wasn't thinkin' 'bout the kids. I'm just sayin' that we gotta talk about this sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner."

"Can we talk about it in the morning?"

"No, 'cause then you'll wanna talk about it the next day and then the next." Michaela knew he had a point. She couldn't put this off no matter how painful it was.

"Alright," she whispered. Sully took her hand and led her out into the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen. Brian and Matthew had obviously gone up to bed, because the downstairs was completely dark and faintly smelled of smoke from the candlewicks after they'd been blown out.

Sully put a few extra logs in the hearth and lit a match. Michaela sat at the table with her hands folded together as she waited for her husband.

Sully sat down beside his wife and took her hands in his. She gave him a weak smile as his thumb tenderly ran along her knuckles. Her beautiful hands were trembling in his.

"First, we gotta talk about the money part." Michaela nodded and blinked a couple of times before clearing her throat.

"Most of my patients have been able to pay me in cash money lately."

"And I'm getting more work 'round here helpin' folks build their homes and fix things they can't fix."

"We've been living more than comfortably lately, and it hasn't changed much since Beth's birth," Michaela noted. "I don't think we have anything to worry about financially." Sully nodded in agreement.

"Alright, let's talk 'bout somethin' else." Michaela waited for him to continue. "Do ya really think we can handle this?"

"Handle? Sully, this isn't something we chose to do. This is something we were brought into doing, because our oldest daughter is dead, and her husband has run off to Boston. It isn't as if we brought this upon ourselves."

"I know," Sully replied softly, not wanting to upset his wife any more than she already was. "But, can we do this?"

"What do you think? Are you willing to take the extra time, Sully?"

"'Course I am. I can stay with the kids whenever ya need me to, and I know Matthew and Brian are gonna help."

"But Matthew will be going back to college soon, and . . ."

"No I won't," came Matthew's voice. Michaela and Sully both looked to the staircase to see their oldest son standing there.

"What?" Michaela asked.

"Ma, I didn't wanna say nothin' too soon, but I don't want ya thinkin' I ain't gonna be here."

"Matthew, what are ya sayin'?" Sully asked quickly.

"I'm sayin' that I ain't goin' back to school. At least not yet. I'll take a few months off. Maybe a year."

"Matthew, no!" Michaela said quickly.

"I already sent a telegram to the school, and there ain't no changin' it now. I'm stayin'. I gotta help look after the kids."

"Ya didn't need to do that, Matthew," Sully said quietly but understanding why Matthew had done what he had. Michaela stood and made her way over to her son.

"Matthew, I would feel better if you were back at school."

"Why? So I can sit there and worry 'bout all of ya? No, I wanna be here for my family. I'll go back, I promise. If I have to, I'll take over bein' sheriff again 'til it's time for me to go back to school." Sully was quite surprised at that point. Daniel had grown tired of the position and had moved on from Colorado Springs to try to make a life for himself, and the position of sheriff was still open.

"Matthew, you quit that job . . ."

"'Cause I didn't like bein' stuck in the middle of my family and the law. But I ain't got no reason to be in the middle, do I?" He looked at Sully who merely looked away. "If that's what it takes, Ma, I'll do it." Michaela was speechless at this point. "I wanna be here for my family now. I ain't been around much, and this is how Colleen woulda wanted it. She woulda wanted the family to be together." He looked to Sully who finally nodded in understanding, and a moment later, he was starting up the stairs to go to sleep for the night. Michaela slowly sat back down and turned to face Sully.

"Do you think he's truly willing to do this?"

"I think he wants to do it. He wants to be here to help, and I think it'll be easier on all of us if he is. I just wish he didn't have to give up his dream, but I'm sure he'll go back to it." Michaela nodded. "We can do this, Michaela. I know we can. Julia's gonna know we love her, and we'll take good care of her and Beth. Katie's gonna wanna help too." Michaela smiled softly.

"She loves them both so much," Michaela whispered. A tear trickled down her cheek at the thought of her little girls growing up with such a loving family, but her granddaughter was already virtually parent-less in her first days of life. Not anymore. They would love this child as if she were their own, and she would tell Julia everyday how she was proud to have such a beautiful granddaughter. Julia would never know the pain of not being loved or wanted. She would always have a safe haven in the Sully home.

* * *

Silence filled the train car, and Andrew leaned his head against the window to stare out into the blackness of the prairie he was passing through. A thick coating of clouds covered the moon and the stars, and Andrew silently thanked God that he was in the comfort of the train car and not out alone in the prairie. Though he felt lost and cold on the inside, he didn't have to feel that way on the outside.

The train shuddered for a moment before continuing on as if nothing had happened. Andrew was drifting off into a restless sleep when he heard whimpering coming from the back of the train car. He sat up and turned around to see Molly cradling a fussy James. The cry sounded weaker than before. He grabbed his medical bag on instinct and slowly stood. He walked back to Molly and James, holding onto the backs of seats so he wouldn't fall if the train shuddered again.

"Miss?" Molly looked up at Andrew.

"Mrs. Thomas, but please call me Molly." She turned her attention back to her son. "He isn't feeling well."

"May I take a look at him? I'm a doctor."

"A doctor?"

"Dr. Cook," Andrew replied with a nod. Molly smiled gratefully and passed her son to the doctor. Andrew began to examine the boy, and Molly watched as James squirmed in his arms. Though it was very dim in the train car, Andrew could easily tell what the boy's illness was.

"Mrs. Thomas," Andrew stated tiredly, "I see the culprit. It seems as if your son has chicken pox." Mrs. Thomas sighed and shook her head.

"I was afraid of that. I was visiting my sister, and her boy had chicken pox. I suppose it's best that he has them now?"

"Yes, but I must advise you to make sure he rests."

"We're still days away from Boston," Molly replied worriedly. Andrew swallowed hard.

"That's where I'm going. Just make sure he rests, and I'll personally escort the both of you to the hospital and see that he's properly treated."

"Thank you, Dr. Cook. You're sure he's alright?"

"He'll be just fine," Andrew replied with a nod. He handed the boy back to Molly and returned back to his seat, silently praying that he'd wake up from the nightmare he felt he was living. All he wanted was to wake up with his wife beside him and know that her death had all been a dream. But he knew he would never wake up. He'd never be released from the nightmare that his life had quickly turned into. Someday he would be with her again. Someday.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_"Sully? Brian? Matthew?" Michaela walked into the dark homestead at around dusk. The horses were all in the barn, but nobody was home. A lump formed in the pit of her stomach. "Hello? Is anyone home!" Fear gripped her heart, and she placed her medical bag down on the table. She glanced at the hearth. The ashes were cold, and that was unusual._

_A floorboard upstairs creaked, and Michaela looked up, not knowing what to expect when she reached the top of the stairs. She initially felt as if she should get out now and come back when it was safe, but, she was being drawn toward the stairs and couldn't turn back._

_A baby began to cry, and Michaela's heart began to pound. Sully and the boys wouldn't have left the girls home alone, would they? The crying grew more intense, and Michaela tried to run up the stairs. But, she felt as if she was knee deep in thick molasses, and she couldn't get up the stairs fast enough._

_When she arrived at the landing upstairs, she made her way into the master bedroom. The cradle was empty. In Katie's room, her bed was neatly made, and her favorite toy was sitting upon her pillow. Tears stung her eyes and began to fall. Where was her family? They couldn't have just disappeared!_

_Silence followed, and after several moments, weeping was heard from down the hall. Frozen in terror, Michaela listened to the familiar whimpering. It was so soft and so sweet, and she knew who it was coming from._

"_Colleen," she whispered. Her strong will allowed her to break free from the invisible restraints that slowed her down, and she made her way into Colleen's room. The first thing she saw was a baby on the bed. It was Julia! "Oh, sweetheart." She picked the baby up and cradled her close to her bosom. She kissed the child's cheek. "It's alright." The door to the bedroom creaked shut, and Michaela's eyes widened when she looked to the window. The room was very dark, but the light shining through the window made it appear as if the sun had come down upon the earth and was glowing as brightly as ever. Then she appeared at the window. She was staring out into the bright white daylight. "Colleen! It's really you!" Colleen didn't turn around. Michaela could only see the side of her face, and a tear was streaking down her cheek. "Don't cry, Colleen." Julia let out a whimper._

_"Take care of her, Ma," Colleen whispered. "Please. She needs you." Michaela was struck by her daughter's words. "Please. I love you all so much. You'll be good for her. Please watch after her."_

_"I will, sweetheart. I promise," Michaela whispered. "She's in good hands."_

_"Andrew's lost his way. He can't care for her until he's found it again." Michaela studied her daughter's form. "He may never find it, Ma."

* * *

_

A week had passed since the birth of baby Julia, and the Sully household was quite busy. Michaela and Sully were up at all hours of the night with Beth and Julia, and with the girls so close together in age, caring for them was difficult, because they both demanded the same attention and feeding at the same time. Michaela was completely worn out, and since the doctor was on a maternity leave anyway, Dr. Bernard was taking over her duties. He had arrived a few days late, but he was settling down nicely at the clinic.

Sully had told Michaela that if she needed to take extra time off of work due to the circumstances, he'd support her. But, she was determined to go back to work in a little over a month. She didn't want to become reclusive and stay at home all of the time, reminiscing on the past and grieving constantly. Colleen wouldn't have wanted that.

Having Matthew and Brian around was much easier for Michaela and Sully. In the afternoons, the exhausted parents would nap, and the boys would watch the infants. Sleep came much easier for everyone, because between Beth, Julia and Katie, everyone was worn out and would sleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows. But, of course, sleep didn't last long in the Sully household.

Not a word had been heard from Andrew, and Michaela was convinced that he was back in Boston safely, but he hadn't responded to any of the numerous telegrams they'd sent out since he had fled Colorado Springs.

The letters that Andrew had written to Colleen's family and to his daughter had been put away in a box for safe-keeping. Somehow, especially after the dream she'd had, Michaela had the feeling that they wouldn't be seeing Andrew for a very long time. But, she was trying to think positively for her granddaughter's sake.

Sully was downstairs feeding Katie her lunch, while Matthew and Brian were outside cleaning out the barn. Michaela was upstairs with the girls, and she was rocking back and forth in the rocking chair, thinking about the dream she'd had the night before. Both of the girls were snuggled together in the cradle, so Michaela was enjoying some peace and quiet. It wouldn't be long before one of them woke, so these sweet moments gave her time to rest; to think about the dream she'd had of Colleen.

The room was warm, and she grew concerned that perhaps the girls could use a little fresh air. She stood and walked to the window, opening it up and leaning her head out to breathe in the fresh air. Summertime was always hot, and with the breeze blowing in, it was a nice break from the humidity.

The wind began to pick up, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Michaela noticed the clouds rolling in and dimming the earth from its sunlight. Michaela shut the windows and decided to go downstairs for a little while. After thinking about her dream since she had woken up that morning, she figured it was time to share this with her husband. Perhaps he'd know what to say. So, she made sure the girls were comfortable and left the room. She slowly made her way down the stairs to find her husband wiping off Katie's mouth.

"Much better this time, Kates," he said with a proud smile. "Ya didn't get so much on ya this time." Katie beamed proudly.

"I'm a big girl," she announced. Michaela smiled at her daughter.

"You sure are," she said, stepping off of the last step. Sully stood and turned to his wife, happy to see that she had torn herself away from the babies long enough to relax. Katie held her arms out to her mother, and Michaela scooped her up in her own arms.

"Pway outside?" Katie asked. Michaela realized that she hadn't enjoyed the sunlight in a long time. She'd been too preoccupied with the pregnancy and then Beth after the birth. Then Colleen and Andrew had arrived, and everything else had taken a turn for the worse. She felt like she needed to be outside for a little while at least.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Sully suggested. "Storm's passin' by, so I don't think we're gonna get any rain." He reached his hand out, and Michaela took it in his. He gave her a gentle squeeze, and they shared a glance and a smile. They made it out onto the porch and settled down upon the steps. Katie wriggled out of her mother's arms and went about picking flowers. Sully put his arm around his wife, and she leaned into him.

"It's a beautiful day," she noted. "It's so warm and peaceful. It seems so different compared to the last week." She noticed that the clouds were no longer covering the sun and that the afternoon was bright once again.

"Yeah," Sully replied. "We're adjustin'."

"I'm not so sure about that," Michaela breathed. Sully gently rubbed her arm and kissed the side of her head. "I had a dream about Colleen last night."

"Did ya?" She nodded and took a deep breath.

"I was holding Julia in my arms, and Colleen was standing by her bedroom window upstairs. The room was dark, but the sun was so bright outside. She was looking out. I called to her, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the light." Sully felt the hairs on the back of his neck beginning to prickle. "She never turned to look at me, Sully." Michaela felt tears burning her eyes, and she blinked them away.

"Then what?" he asked softly as they watched Katie gathering her favorite flowers.

"She spoke to me." Silence followed, and Sully's curiosity grew.

"Cloud Dancin' taught me that when a loved one comes to ya in a dream; speaks to ya, they're tellin' ya what ya gotta do next. Maybe Colleen was tellin' ya that ya gotta move on." Michaela nodded and let out a quiet sob. "Michaela? What'd she say?"

"I . . . she said that she loves us," Michaela whispered. "She said to take care of Julia, because Andrew has lost his way." Sully looked out to see Wolf following Katie to make sure she stayed out of harm's way, and he watched as Matthew and Brian worked together to clean out the barn. This had been the kind of family he had wanted since he was a young man, and now he had the family he had always dreamed of. But, two of his daughters were dead. A child he hadn't known existed until after it was long gone also weighed on his mind. Three children were gone, and he still had so much to be thankful for. "Sully?" He looked at his wife, and she placed a hand on his cheek when a tear escaped. They rested their foreheads together for a moment before Sully took a breath.

"Colleen might be gone, but she's still with us," he said quietly. "She's tellin' us what she wants, and she wants us to look after her little girl. That's what we're gonna do, but we've gotta move on. We've got to let her go and let her be free to rest in peace."

"She was crying, Sully. She was crying in my dream," Michaela whispered. She closed her eyes tightly and remembered the entire dream. "Perhaps she wants us to accept that her body's gone and her spirit is with us. Sully, what would Cloud Dancing say?" Sully cleared his throat.

"I think he'd say we need to let her go so her spirit can be free." Michaela nodded and placed her hand over her heart where her daughter's memory would always remain. "Maybe she feels like she can't rest with us grievin' like we are."

"She needs us to let go of the past. Then somehow . . . that's what we're going to do." Beth began to cry upstairs, and Michaela turned to Sully.

"Go on," he whispered. "I'll watch after Katie." Michaela kissed his cheek and stood to go into the house. Katie rushed over with her hands full of flowers.

"You think Mama will like?" she asked. Sully gathered his daughter into his arms, and she settled into his lap.

"I think she'll like 'em very much," he whispered. Katie beamed with pride and looked down at the dandelions and lilacs that she had in her hands. Her little fingers were stained green from the stems, and Sully smiled as she sniffed the flowers, searching for a scent.

"Pwetty," she whispered. "Like Mama." Sully smiled and placed his hands over his daughter's. Katie swung her little feet in the air.

"That's right. Just like Mama."

* * *

Andrew drank the last swig of water from his glass as he sat behind his office desk. Having his own office at the hospital was nice, but it wasn't the same anymore. He had a partner desk, and he had planned to share it with his wife after she graduated from medical school. He hadn't spoken to anyone since he had arrived back in Boston, except for Molly Thomas and her young son James. James was currently in the children's ward at the hospital, and he was recovering from his case of the chicken pox. Even then, he hadn't spoken with her much. He knew nothing about her or her son.

He suddenly remembered that James was being released to go home that day, and he needed to give him one more examination before letting him leave. Going into the children's ward was painful. Each child reminded him of the fact that he had a precious newborn daughter back in Colorado Springs, and he was halfway across the country trying to mourn his wife's death without the difficult financial and emotional responsibilities of being a father.

A knock came to the door, and Andrew sighed heavily. Who could it possibly be at ten thirty in the morning?

"Dr. Cook?" came the voice of a colleague named Dr. Martin Nichols.

"Come in, Dr. Nichols."

"It's been awhile, Andrew," the man said, closing the door after he walked in. He took a seat on the other side of Andrew's desk. "I'm sorry to hear about your wife."

"Thank you," Andrew replied apathetically. No matter how many words of condolence he heard, he couldn't bring himself to care. Those people didn't lose Colleen. He lost her. He lost the one woman he'd ever fallen in love with.

"Your wife . . . she was pregnant, wasn't she?" Andrew felt his face grow pale. "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry, Andrew." Andrew's pulse began to race. How was he supposed to sit there and explain that he never attended his wife's funeral, he'd never gotten a good look at his daughter, and he had left in the coward's way without even saying goodbye. He especially couldn't say this to Dr. Nichols. He had known the man for several years. He was quite the family man with a loving wife and four beautiful children of his own. He couldn't admit that he was a runaway father.

"She died," Andrew lied. His heart broke even further with that lie, and he prayed to God that his lie wouldn't become a reality.

"I shouldn't have asked."  
"No. You don't have to apologize." Andrew looked at the clock. "I have a patient to see. Excuse me." Andrew stood and left his office with his medical bag in hand. He closed his office door and leaned against the wall for a moment. He took a breath to gather his thoughts and proceeded down the hall toward the children's ward.

His shoes thudded upon the floor in the quiet hall, and as he pushed past the doors, he was greeted by two rows of painted white beds. Two dozen children lay in their beds. Some were sleeping, some were taking medicines administered by the nurses, and at the end of the room, James Thomas was sitting in his mother's lap, waiting for Dr. Cook to give him a clean bill of health.

He didn't want the three-year-old to see him in such an upset mood, so he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and told himself that the day would pass quickly, and he could return home at the end of the day. Home? He hadn't even gone back to that place yet. He'd slept in his office since he returned to the hospital, and he hadn't brought himself to even take a carriage ride past the home he had shared with his wife and planned to raise his child in.

"Andy!" James called out when he saw his doctor. He couldn't easily say "Andrew," so he had settled for "Andy." Molly smiled when Andrew stepped up beside the bed.

"How's my favorite patient today?"

"Good!" James said with a grin. "All better!"

"The nurse just checked his temperature. No fever at all," Molly explained.

"Well, that certainly is good news." Andrew smiled and knelt down with his stethoscope. The boy's heart sounded good. After a few minutes, Andrew stood and nodded his head. "I believe James is completely healthy. I bet you're ready to go home, aren't you, young man?" James nodded vigorously. Molly smiled as James held his arms up to the doctor.

"Hug, Andy!" Andrew felt something tug at his heart, and he awkwardly lifted the boy into his arms. James wrapped his arms around Andrew's neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Molly seemed surprised.

"He doesn't usually take to strangers," she whispered. "He seemed to take to you right away, Dr. Cook." She smiled a little with a hint of sadness in her eyes. She pulled her boy back into her arms, and Andrew felt a bit better after holding the boy. He was a sweet boy with so much love to give, and Andrew figured that his little girl would be the same someday. "Come along, James. We're finally going home." James clapped his hands together. "Thank you so much for everything, Dr. Cook." She and Andrew shared a gaze for a moment, and her eyes finally turned away. She walked out of the hospital, and Andrew lingered behind for a few minutes, feeling the pain of the absence of his daughter. What had he done?

* * *

Matthew dismounted his horse at the livery and corralled it with some of Robert E.'s spare horses. The blacksmith nodded his head to the ex-sheriff and placed a hot iron in the water basin to cool.

"Afternoon, Matthew," Robert E. said quietly.

"Robert E." Matthew tipped his hat.

"How's the family holdin' up?"

"We're managin'," he explained. "Takin' it a day at a time. It's startin' to get easier, and I think Dr. Mike's gonna be okay. She and Sully were talkin' earlier, and she seemed to be in better spirits."

"That's good to hear," Robert E. replied. "It's sad that I can't say the same thing for this town."

"What's goin' on?"  
"Loren, Hank, and Grace got robbed early this mornin'. It was before the sun came up, and we were all still sleepin' sound in our beds. 'Cept for Loren, maybe. He's up with the chickens, and he said he saw the fella. Grace's money box for the café was stolen. She had over two hundred dollars in there." Robert E. shook his head. Matthew swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Sorry to hear that, Robert E. I wish there was somethin' I could do." He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. "I'm thinkin' . . . thinkin' 'bout takin' the position of sheriff again." Robert E. raised his eyebrows.

"Since when?"

"Since I decided not to go back to law school. Least not yet anyway."

"That's a mighty big decision."

"Yeah, but I wanted to be here to help the family. They might not admit it, but they need me here to help out for a while." Robert E. smiled.

"You're a good man, Matthew. A good man." They shook hands, and Matthew started off toward the mercantile to pick up a few supplies. When he arrived, Loren was sorting through his spare money box and shaking his head.

"Afternoon, Loren." Loren grumbled, looked up, and he nodded to acknowledge Matthew's presence. "I heard about the robbery. Sorry to hear it. I wish there was somethin' I could do right now . . ."

"Don't be sorry. If ya wanna do somethin', bring back the eighty dollars that thief stole from me. Oh, if I hadn't have pulled my knee, I sure woulda run after him."

"Did ya get a good look at him?"  
"Sure did. Had long blonde hair like Hank's, and he had a big scar running from here to here." He drew an invisible curved line from his temple to his upper lip. "Hank even went out lookin' for him, but he came back empty-handed." Matthew swallowed hard and placed some money down on the counter. He gave Loren a list.

"Could ya have these delivered to Dr. Mike and Sully this afternoon?" He started outside.

"Sure, but where are ya off to in such a hurry?"

"It's time this town gets their sheriff back!" he called, rushing back toward the livery to fetch his horse.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Brian was sitting up in his room and working on an article for the Gazette, but his mind couldn't concentrate on the topic of the school getting new spelling books for the young children. How was he supposed to write about the innocent blessings in life, when he had so much to be down about? His big sister, the sister he'd known since the day he was born was dead, her husband hand run off, and yet another infant had been added to the household. Matthew had quit school for a little while and was temporarily giving up working toward his dream job, because the family needed him. To make matters worse, every time Brian went to see his friends in town, all eyes would grow downcast, and they would become silent. He didn't want people to think they had to act differently around him. All he wanted was a little bit of normal in his life, and if they could for once act like nothing had ever happened, he would be thrilled! But, he knew it always happened when somebody lost a loved one. Words were lost to those giving condolences, and the usual "I'm so sorry about your loss" was all people could muster to speak under their breaths.

Brian shook his head, sighed heavily and pushed his paper tablet to the back of his desk. He stood and moved over toward the window. He noticed his parents standing out by the corral. Katie was sleeping in her father's arms, and Matthew's horse was quickly coming up the path. What was on Matthew's coat lapel? A shiny tin star? He'd actually done it. He'd been talking about getting the position of sheriff back, and Brian was amazed that he'd done it so quickly. He opened his window and strained to hear the conversation that was about to happen.

"Matthew?" Michaela asked as her oldest son dismounted. Her fingers immediately went to touch the sheriff's star on his coat.

"I already asked the other members of the town council, Ma," Matthew replied. "Even if you woulda said no, they woulda hired me back anyway. Don't be mad."

"I'm not angry," Michaela said softly. "I know you're a grown man, and I know you were a wonderful sheriff once." Matthew looked at Sully.

"I just want ya to know that things are gonna change. I know more about the law than I did before," Matthew explained. Sully only nodded and extended his hand to his son.

"Be careful?"

"I will, but I need ya for this one." Michaela's eyes grew fearful.

"What's happened?" she wondered.

"Some folks in town got robbed, and the trail's probably pretty cold by now. But, I was thinking that Sully might be able to help me track this fella. I went 'round and got as much information as I could. I think we've got enough to search on." Sully looked at Michaela. "We shouldn't be gone more than a few hours. If it gets too late, we'll make camp and head back in the mornin'." Michaela's eyes were tearing up at the thought of her husband and son going out in pursuit of an outlaw. She'd just lost her daughter, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing two of the most important men in her life. But, she knew they needed to do this. She knew it would be good for them to get away for just a little while.

"You'll both be careful?" Michaela asked. Matthew nodded.

"Always, Ma." He pulled her into a brief hug. "I'll go bring your horse out, Sully." He knew Sully could do it for himself, but he figured he should give his parents a few minutes alone. Sully pulled his wife into his arms, and they clung to one another as tightly as they could with Katie in between them.

"Don't you fret," he whispered. "We'll be home real soon. You sure you'll be alright with the girls?"

"Brian's here. We'll be alright," Michaela promised with her bravest smile.

"Nothin' bad is gonna happen if I can help it." Michaela nodded.

"I know." Sully pressed his lips against his wife's, and for several long seconds, they silently expressed their love to one another.

When Matthew brought Sully's horse and an overnight pack (just in case) from the barn, the lovers reluctantly pulled away from one another. Sully noticed Brian peering out of the window, and he waved goodbye. He placed Katie securely in her mother's arms, gave his wife another sweet kiss and mounted his horse. After giving a reluctant look around the lot, Sully and Matthew rode off with Wolf trailing directly behind them.

Michaela stared off until they had long-since disappeared, and soon, Brian was standing at her side.

"Ma, Beth's cryin' for ya." Michaela nodded and turned her back on the direction that Sully and Matthew had rode off in. "Don't worry. Pa and Matthew will be alright. They always are." Michaela handed Katie to her big brother and started into the house to care for her baby daughter. Brian walked over to sit on the steps of the porch with his sleeping sister nestled in his arms. "Katie? Do ya think Colleen's happy in Heaven?" He paused, listening to his little sister breathe. "I wish I coulda protected her. I wish I coulda been nicer to her when we were younger. But, ya don't gotta worry about a thing, Katie. Ya know why? 'Cause I'm gonna be there for ya forever. I'm gonna be the best big brother. I never wanna see ya hurtin'. I know what happened to Colleen wasn't anybody's fault, but maybe by the time you're old enough, what happened to her won't happen so much no more. Ma might find a way to help ladies who have problems like Colleen had after the baby was born." He kissed Katie upon the head. "Ma can do anything. I believe it."

* * *

Michaela placed Beth back in her cradle. The baby had only needed a changing, and she was fast asleep again. Julia was half-awake, and Michaela smiled down at her. She picked the baby up and moved to sit upon the bed. She placed the baby in her lap, and the little one sprawled out comfortably. Michaela traced her fingers over the child's soft cheek, and the little one turned her head a little and let out a yawn.

"Sweet girl," Michaela whispered. "I had a dream about your mother last night. Yes. She loves you so much, even though she can't be here with you. She wants us to be happy and to raise you up to be the best girl you can be. Oh, Julia, your grandfather and I love you so much, and it seems that you've already become a part of the family. I love you so much, and Beth especially loves having you to sleep next to every night. She may be your aunt, but she's more like a sister to you. I'm sure Colleen wouldn't mind you thinking of her baby sister as your own." She sighed and leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. "The past week has been hard, because the first thing on my mind when I wake is Colleen being gone, and that's the last thing I think of before I drift off to sleep. But, no more. I won't hold onto the past anymore. I'm going to do what Colleen would want. I'm going to be happy. Things will change."

Julia cooed and yawned again. Michaela grinned and kissed the baby's forehead.

"Don't think I don't miss your mother, because I always will. She'll always be in my thoughts and my heart, but there are people who need me here and things that I need to accomplish. One of those is to be a good mother to Katie and Beth. And . . . though I'm your grandmother, I'll treat you as if you were my own little girl. You practically are, sweetheart. You've had me wrapped around your little finger since the moment you were born. But, every singe day, I'm going to let you know what a special, beautiful young woman your mother was. Her love will always be right here, little one." He put her hand over the baby's heart, and a moment later, young Julia was fast asleep. Michaela felt something rise from her shoulders, and she felt as if she could breathe again. She didn't feel a choking sob coming on like she usually did after speaking about Colleen. She felt a sense of peace washing over her. Yes, she was healing.

* * *

The carriage stopped in front of the Cook residence, and Andrew looked up at the large townhouse and shook his head sadly. It was no longer the cozy home he and Colleen had made theirs from their love. It was a mere stone structure; a mausoleum that would forever hold the memories of the past, both happy and painful.

"Thank you," Andrew said quietly, paying the carriage driver. The man tipped his hat to the doctor. As soon as Andrew's feet hit the pavement, the carriage took off, leaving him in the empty street. Andrew sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He wasn't quite sure if he had the courage to step inside of the house and see their wedding picture hanging above the mantle above the fireplace. Perhaps he would avoid that all together and retire to the bedroom. The bedroom? The place where they had made love and held one another at night? The place where baby Julia had been conceived and dreamed about? Perhaps he wouldn't go to the bedroom after all. Besides, the baby's room was on the way to the bedroom, and he wasn't quite ready to see that either.

He began to wish he could turn around and go back to the hospital, but he had to face his daemons somehow. He couldn't repress his memories and his feelings forever, because he didn't want to die a lonely, grief-stricken man who should have had more time. He had to face Colleen's memory now and deal with the consequences of his actions.

He walked up to the door and was about to stick the key in the lock when the knob turned, and the large oak door opened. The butler, Edward, stood aside stiffly.

"Welcome home, sir. Shall I have Marie prepare your lunch?" the eighty-something butler asked in a thick English accent. Andrew shook his head.

"No, Edward. If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone. Please let Marie know that I do not want to be disturbed, and you may both have the day off."

"Sir?"

"You heard me," Andrew replied. He left the foyer and traveled down the hall toward the small library that he and Colleen used to study in. The butler stared after the master of the house for a moment before wandering off to tell the maid that Dr. Cook did not want to be disturbed.

Andrew settled down into one of the armchairs in the library, and he stared into the cold blackness of the hearth. He didn't feel strong enough to get up and start a fire to warm the house on this particularly cool June day.

He noticed a book open on the table, and he reached over to pull it into his hands. He folded it shut and stared at the title of a surgical textbook. He recognized it as the one that Michaela had given to Colleen shortly before she headed off to college for the first time. Colleen had been reading up on the complications that were possible or common after and during childbirth. How ironic? Andrew had had no idea, and that was probably a good thing, because he wouldn't have wanted her to read it. He had wanted her to be free of stress and relaxed until the birth. He thought she had been, but perhaps she had been worrying more than he had.

He placed the book on the side table and stood. He finally placed a few logs in the hearth and struck a match. The room was soon glowing with the firelight, and Andrew felt a little more relaxed. He leaned against the mantle and closed his eyes, thinking about one of the last times he stood there contemplating his life and thinking about work.

* * *

_"Andrew?" her sweet voice echoed melodiously down the hall. He was standing with his hand on the mantle and staring into the flames. He had just gotten back from performing a serious surgery, and his patient had died on the operating table. He hadn't seen Colleen at all except for early that morning, so he was eager to hold her in his arms and forget about the day's events._

_"In here," he called out. Colleen's bright face appeared, and she practically floated in, wearing a light blue dress with beautiful lace around the neck. Andrew always found her breathtaking in that piece. "Good afternoon." Colleen made her way across the room and into her husband's arms. They held one another, reveling in the time they could spend with one another. With Andrew always at the hospital and Colleen having more than enough school work to do, they rarely got to spend a quiet moment together in the afternoon. _

_"You're home early."_

_"I lost a patient today," he explained. Colleen sighed and placed her hand on her husband's cheek._

_"I'm sorry to hear that. I understand that you'd want to take the rest of the day off." They embraced again, and Andrew inhaled the scent of the sweet soaps she used on her skin._

_"Thank you," he whispered. When they pulled away, a curious look came across his face. "Wait a minute. I figured you'd be in class now."_

_"I took the day off too," she explained. Andrew was even more surprised. Colleen never took the day off!_

_"Is something wrong?"_

_"No. I had the feelin' you'd be home early, and I'm glad that feelin' was right. I wanted to spend the day with you, Andrew." The look in her eyes told him she was carrying a secret. He took her hands in his, and they sat down in front of the fire on the beautiful Oriental rug that had been a wedding gift from Elizabeth Quinn._

_"What's going on, Colleen? I know that look in your eye. You're hiding something." Colleen couldn't hold back her bright smile, and it warmed Andrew's heart. _

_"I am keepin' somethin' from you, but I promise I only found out about it early this mornin'," Colleen began. Andrew nodded slowly. "Andrew, I know things have been busy 'round here lately. I know we haven't been married very long, and our financial situation isn't the best right now."_

_"Right," Andrew said quietly. They had had several bills to pay with Colleen being in school. "What's going on?" He was very curious to know._

_"We've been talkin' about havin' a family of our own one day, right?"_

_"Right," Andrew said slowly, realization crossing his mind. _

_"What would you say if I told you we were startin' that family a little early?" Andrew's face drew a blank, and Colleen looked a bit disappointed. She looked away and felt the urge to cry. She had hoped he would be happy with her news. "Andrew?" She looked back at him to see a smile slowly spreading over his face._

_"A baby?" he asked. Colleen nodded, the color and smile slowly coming back to her face. "You're sure?"_

_"I visited with Dr. Thomas this mornin'," she explained. "I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. I know it's going to be hard, Andrew, but I really want this baby. I know we're young, and we were plannin' on waitin' a few years. But, these things happen, and I'm happy, Andrew." He saw the sparkle in her eyes, and she was full of so much love. He knew she'd make a wonderful mother. "I want this baby with everything that I have. I just want to know that you feel the same." Andrew swallowed hard. He wasn't extremely excited about becoming a father so early, but when he saw how happy this made Colleen, he wanted it too. He wanted somebody to call him "Papa." _

_"Colleen, I would be honored to have this baby with you. I love you, and we're going to love this baby more than anything in the world. I'll be the best father I can be to our baby." Colleen let out an excited squeal and threw herself into her husband's arms. They laughed when they fell over on the floor together. Andrew held her so closely, and they fell to sleep together, happy and nervous that their lives were about to change forever.

* * *

_

"I was such a fool," Andrew whispered. He had had no idea what kind of situation he had gotten himself into. And once that baby came into the world, it shook him to his very core to know that he was going to have to face parenthood alone. He didn't think he could do it. "I'm so sorry I let you down, Colleen." He took a large, shaky breath and turned to leave the room. It seemed that there wasn't a place in the house that didn't remind him of a memory he'd shared with Colleen. He couldn't stand being in there one more moment. He needed to get out.

He stormed out of the library and toward the door, passing the butler along the way. He rushed out of the townhouse and into the street, needing fresh air. A few children ran past with kites. They must have been on their ways home from spending an afternoon along the Charles. He had taken Colleen there a few times.

"Sir!" came a voice from behind. Andrew spun around to see Edward rushing out of the house as quickly as his feeble old legs would carry him. "I nearly forgot!"

"What is it, Edward?"

"You received another telegram this morning." Andrew took the slip of paper in his hands, and he nodded his head.

"Thank you, Edward. I appreciate this." Edward nodded and turned to walk away. Andrew began to walk. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to get away from the house for just a little while. He was half-afraid to read what was in the telegram, but he did see that it was from Sully and Michaela. His messages had been sent to the hospital when he hadn't returned home, and he hadn't answered any of their desperate telegrams, but each one had let him know that Julia was healthy and strong. But, they didn't hesitate to express their disappointment in him either. He knew it wouldn't be long before the telegrams stopped, and he would be able to pretend to move on in his existence. But, these frequent telegrams were a constant reminder of the burden he had back in Colorado Springs. The child he'd promised to love forever was in her grandparents' care, and he was back in Boston trying to put the pieces of his broken spirit back together. "What kind of a father am I?"

He made his way into a small park and sat down upon the bench. He opened up the telegram and prepared himself for the worst. Silently, he began to read:

_Andrew,_

_Julia is doing well, and she is thriving by the day. We've put your letter to her in a locked box, but Sully and I only hope you will decide to be a part of her life before she's old enough to read it for herself. She's not a burden, and we love her very much. Please, don't shut yourself out of her life. She needs you._

_Michaela_

Andrew crumpled up the piece of paper in his hand and threw it to the ground. The wind picked up and carried it away. He couldn't think about it now. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about the mess he'd made of his life for just a little while.

* * *

After several hours of searching, Sully and Matthew had successfully captured the robber, cuffed his hands and retrieved the money that he'd taken from the townsfolk. Now the man, Christopher or "Chris," as he called himself, was passed out on top of Sully's horse, and Sully and Matthew were leading the horses into Colorado Springs.

"Think I'm gonna like bein' sheriff again," Matthew said quietly.

"Why's that?" Sully wondered.

"Helpin' people is what I wanna do. I mean, I wanna be a lawyer and really do somethin' that brings justice, but bein' a sheriff, I can protect my friends and family."

"Ya know your ma is gonna worry again," Sully pointed out.

"It'll only be for a little while. Maybe Daniel will come back before I go back to school."

"I wouldn't count on that," Sully said distantly. "But, whatever ya decide to do, me and your ma will support ya."

"I appreciate that."

They led the horses up to the jail, and Matthew tugged the man from the horse. Chris was startled, but he realized he was being thrown into a cell the next minute.

"Ya know ya can't keep me here forever!"

"Just 'til a judge gets here to decide what to do with ya," Matthew replied, locking the man in. He put the keys in his pocket and joined Sully, locking the outside door. "I'm gonna go see to it that folks get their money back. Ya don't gotta wait for me. I'm sure Dr. Mike would be glad to know things went fine." Sully nodded. He patted his oldest son on the back, mounted the horse and rode off towards home.

* * *

When Sully arrived at home, he found Michaela sitting downstairs reading one of her many medical journals. He smiled when she didn't even hear him come in. It didn't bother him that she didn't hear his entrance, because he found it endearing the way she could get caught up in reading about medicine.

He slowly shut the door and crept across the floor. Michaela smiled when she heard him behind her, but she pretended not to notice.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek as he stood behind the chair. He was amazed that she didn't so much as flinch.

"Welcome home," she whispered.

"Kids sleepin'?"

"Mmm," she answered, turning her head to greet his lips with her own. "How did the search go?"

"We found the thief, and Matthew's got him locked up at the jail. He'll be home just as soon as he gets the money back to the folks that got robbed."

"Good," Michaela replied with a smile. Sully kissed her softly again and took the medical journal from her hands. He placed it aside and stared into her eyes.

"Ya must be tired."

"I am," she admitted with a yawn.

"C'mon, let's go on up to bed." Michaela nodded and yawned. Sully helped her up, and she was surprised when he pulled her into his arms and ran his fingers through her hair. A grin spread over her face, and she couldn't help but think that she hadn't felt this playful in a long time. She felt as if she shouldn't be enjoying herself when her daughter had just passed on, but then again, she knew that she had to continue to live her life and not let the bad things cripple her for the rest of her life.

Sully had to admit that he missed being close with his wife. They hadn't been intimate for several months due to the pregnancy, and they were still going to have to wait awhile to let Michaela heal from Beth's birth.

As his lips traveled to her neck, Michaela allowed a giggle to escape from deep inside of her.

"Sully! What are you doing!" she asked, tilting her head back a little. Sully's lips parted from her skin, and he moved them to his wife's lips. She opened her mouth to him, inviting his tongue to explore and dance with hers.

When they finally pulled away breathlessly, Michaela dreamily stared up into her husband's eyes.

"Is it a crime for a man to wanna kiss his wife?"

"Definitely not a crime," Michaela whispered softly against his lips. "You know that we can't . . ."

"I know," he replied quietly, hugging her close. "But that don't mean we can snuggle and kiss does it?" Michaela smiled.

"Certainly not." Sully nodded toward the stairs, and a smile crept over Michaela's face. They silently walked hand-in-hand toward the staircase and up to their bedroom.

Michaela pulled back the covers and slipped underneath them after draping her robe over the foot of the bed. Sully undressed and climbed into the bed beside his wife. They met in the center of the bed, wrapped their arms around one another and breathed a collective sigh of contentment.

"Everything go okay while we were gone?" Sully wondered, rubbing his wife's shoulder lovingly.

"Mmm," she muttered, gently running her fingers along his chest. "Brian was a big help. Katie was a little fussy, but Beth and Julia weren't much of a problem. They slept most of the time you were gone."

"That's good," Sully yawned. Michaela closed her eyes and listened to the beating of her husband's heart. As they were drifting off to sleep, Michaela muttered something.

"Sully?"

"Hmm?" he asked between the stages of being awake and asleep.

"I wish we could hold each other like this forever." Sully softly kissed the top of her head before they both surrendered to their dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Michaela woke to the sound of thunder crashing in the early morning sky. It was followed promptly by the screams of Katie down the hall and the newborns in their cradle. Sully and Michaela sat up in bed and looked at one another.

"I'll get Katie," Sully said quickly as they heard footsteps rushing down the hallway. Sully pulled on his buckskins while Michaela sat down on the floor and rocked the cradle back and forth, hoping the little ones would go to sleep without much effort. Michaela was feeling bone tired, and she could barely keep her eyes open.

Matthew and Brian were already in Katie's room when Sully rushed in, and Katie was standing on the floor with Annie clutched to her chest. Matthew was pulling the sheets off of her bed.

"What happened, Kates?" Sully asked softly.

"She had an accident," Brian explained. In the darkness of the room, Sully could see Katie's lip sticking out and trembling. She had been doing so well, but the storm had probably frightened her. Sully couldn't blame her. It seemed that storms had bothered her ever since her first Thanksgiving after being born. She had survived a terrible storm with her mother and had most likely screamed all the way through it.

"Come on, Kates," Sully whispered, gently taking his little girl's hand and pulling a fresh night outfit from her drawers. "Let's go downstairs and get ya cleaned up."

"Kay," she said softly, chewing on the tip of her index finger. She followed her father down the hall and down the stairs while Matthew and Brian went to work at scrubbing the mattress, flipping it over, and replacing the wet sheets with fresh ones.

Meanwhile, Michaela had sang the little ones back to sleep, and she was surprised that the house was silent again. She made her way into the hallway and heard splashing coming from downstairs. She yawned, pulled her robe tightly around herself and padded down the stairs barefoot.

She was surprised to see Sully standing by the dinner table. A small washing bin was placed upon it, and Katie was sitting in it, splashing around to her heart's content. She didn't seem to realize that they were awake in the wee hours of the morning.  
"Sully?" Michaela asked with a yawn. Sully glanced over his shoulder as Michaela made her way over to the scene. "What happened?"

"The storm scared Katie. The boys changed her bed sheets, and I figured she could use a bath." Michaela nodded and ran her fingers through Katie's soft blonde locks.

"Hi Mama," she said with a big grin. "I swim!" Michaela smiled softly and looked up at Sully.

"The girls are sleeping."

"Good. You should go on up to bed. I'll finish givin' Katie her bath and take her right back up."

"No, I'm up now. I'll help." She took the soap into her hands, lathered it and began to wash Katie's back. Sully smiled at his wife as they bathed Katie together, feeling more and more comfortable by the moment. It had been a long time since they'd done this together, because Sully had been doing most of the work during Michaela's pregnancy and after the birth. But now, they were working together, and it felt better than ever!

"You're beautiful when ya smile. We ain't had much of a reason to smile lately." Michaela nodded.

"It feels like the world is slowly coming back together, if that makes any sense."

"It makes a lot of sense," Sully replied as he leaned over the basin to kiss his wife. Katie giggled and made a splash. Michaela and Sully looked down to see her staring up at them. They laughed softly and continued to wash and play with their little girl.

* * *

It had been a month since Colleen had died, and Andrew hadn't slept more than two hours a night since he'd arrived home. Two hours was normal, because just as he'd start to drift into a dream, he'd see Colleen's lifeless body lying at the clinic, and he'd wake for fear of losing her all over again.

He had been occupying himself at the hospital, but his superiors had given him a vacation to rest. His performance at work was suffering, and he knew that if he didn't get his act together, his job would be terminated, and worse, his license to practice medicine could be suspended. He couldn't let that happen. He had to make a good life for himself and for his daughter.

Andrew hadn't been in contact with Sully and Michaela, though they were still sending him letters and telegrams to let him know Julia was alright. However, the correspondence was coming every few days or once a week now instead of every day, and Andrew knew that he was driving the wedge between himself and Colleen's family farther apart day by day.

"Sir?" Edward asked as he walked into Andrew's study. Andrew looked up from the medical journal he was reading. He had nothing better to do, and he was trying to keep his mind off of the child he had left behind and the wife he'd never see again.

"Yes, Edward?" Andrew asked, standing.

"There's a young woman and a small boy here to see you. Mrs. Thomas and a young James."

"Yes," Andrew said quietly. He was a bit surprised. He hadn't seen the two since he had released James from the hospital after his bout with chicken pox. "Send them in." Andrew waited until Molly and James appeared, and he smiled when they stepped into the room. "Mrs. Thomas."

"It's Molly, Dr. Cook," she said with a smile, moving across the room with her hand gently holding her son's.

"Then you may call me Andrew."

"Andy!" James said with a grin. Andrew was surprised when the boy ran to him, but he scooped the three-year-old up into his arms.

"How's my favorite patient?"

"No shots!" Andrew and Molly both laughed together.

"I can assure you that I won't give you anymore shots, young man." James giggled, and Andrew's eyes met Molly's. "What brings you here?"

"I need a favor," she said softly, ringing her hands together nervously. Andrew looked at her and saw the fear in her eyes. He knew that whatever was going on wasn't meant for a child's ears.

"Marie!" he called. The maid came in.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Would you please take James into the other room with you?"

"Yes, Sir. Come along, young James." She took the boy's hand, and he left the room with her. Andrew noticed that Molly was trembling. He gently took her by the arm and led her to a chair.

"Here, come sit down." She took a seat, and Andrew moved to pour her a glass of water. She accepted it gratefully and took a few sips. The diamond ring on her finger clinked against the glass as her fingers trembled. "Molly? What is it? What's wrong?" He saw fear in her eyes, and he wondered if she didn't trust him. But, why would she have come all the way to his home if she didn't trust him? "You can trust me." Molly nodded.

"I know," she whispered, placing the glass aside. "I didn't mean to come here, but you were the first person I thought of when I left my home."

"Why did you leave?" Andrew wondered. Molly's face was pale. "Please, tell me or else I won't be able to help." She merely nodded.

"Someone is trying to kill me." That definitely caught Andrew off guard!

"What! How do you know?"

"I'm from Boston," she explained, and I was on the train back to Boston, because I had gone West with my husband. He was offered a prestigious banking job, and he was told that he would be able to bring many settlers to a small town. He was told that he would become a wealthy man in a short amount of time. We didn't have a lot of money, so we went."

"And?"

"And he made a lot of money just as he was promised. My husband was in failing health, and he left all of his money to me and to our son."

"Was?"

"Yes," she said softly. "Before he could give his will to his lawyers, he was murdered in his sleep. The money was to be divided amongst his investors and partners, because they knew he was dying. Without a will, that was what was to happen. But, my husband penned out a will a few nights before he died, and then he was stabbed through the heart a few nights later."

"Molly," Andrew said quietly. "I'm very sorry."

"Thank you," she said sadly. She cleared her throat and continued. "My son and I came home shortly after my husband's death, but we haven't seen any of the money. It's being held by our bank, and in a few weeks, his partners and investors will be awarded all of my husband's finances."

"What about the will?"

"My husband's lawyers are here in Boston, and I brought the will home with me. If I turn in the will, the money goes to me, Andrew. Don't you see?"

"They're after you to get the will?"

"Andrew, they're going to kill me either way!" she exclaimed. "If I turn in the will, they will kill me and make it look like an accident. Then they will get the money, though some will be saved for my son, but they would probably go as far as to murder him too. And, if I don't turn in the will to my husband's lawyers, I'll be killed because I'll still have it. They don't want me to have that money, because my husband made so much of it." Andrew was shocked. "I'm so sorry I brought you into all of this! I needed someone to talk to, and it's been eating away at me since my husband died."

"You can talk to me," Andrew whispered softly. "I'm sorry this has happened to you."

"I only want to make a life for myself and my son. I don't want the money, but there is no other way. I've been a homemaker since I married my husband, and the only further education I've had is finishing school. There's absolutely no way I can support myself and my son. All of my family are gone, and my husband's parents passed on when he was very young." She shook her head. "Andrew, I'm frightened."  
"You're sure you know who killed your husband?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I saw him lurking about our property for three nights before it happened. His name was Nicholas Hill, and he's a very powerful man. Just this morning I saw him walking past my home. I had to get out of there." Andrew nodded slowly. "He followed me all this way." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Well, we'll have to find a way to prove he did it."

"We? No! I don't want you to get involved. I only wanted someone to talk to that I could trust."

"I'm too involved to ignore this now, Molly. You don't deserve to be in danger, and neither does James. I want to help."

"How?" Molly asked, her eyes full of curiosity and worry. Andrew cleared his throat, and for the first time, his mind was completely free from the tragedy that had been weighing on it for the past month. All he was focused on was helping a friend in need.

"First we're going to see your husband's lawyers. Then we're going to the bank."

* * *

"Where's Julia? Where is she?" Michaela asked in a singsong voice as she stood inside the clinic with little Julia and Beth lying on the exam table. It was her first day back to work, and she couldn't have been happier. She felt more alive than she had in a long time, and she was happier than she had been in awhile.

Julia giggled as Michaela pulled her hands away from her eyes and made a silly face. Julia and Beth were growing like weeds, it seemed. Beth was a tiny bit larger than Julia, being a week older than her, but they were virtually at the same development level. They absolutely loved Sully and Michaela, and the children were wonderful with them. Katie enjoyed the fact that the girls were a little older. In a few months, they'd be old enough to play and laugh, and Michaela knew that time would fly by, and before they would know it, the girls would be toddling around the house and getting into everything!

"Mama!" Katie exclaimed from Michaela's desk chair. Katie was sitting there with Michaela's stethoscope around her neck. Michaela turned and went to pick up her daughter. "I doctor now!"

"Did Dr. Bernard tell you that?" Katie nodded. The older gentleman had boarded the train earlier that morning and was on his way back to Denver.

"Well, if you want to be a doctor one day, I won't stop you from being one. Just know that it is a lot of work, young lady."

"You good doctor, Mama!" Katie pointed out.

"Well, thank you, sweetheart. But, being a good doctor is still hard work, but it pays well."

"Money," Katie nodded.

"No, not just money. Healing people is something that pays the soul. It makes you feel good for making someone else feel better." Katie cocked her head to the side, not truly understanding what her mother was saying, but she smiled nonetheless.

Sully had gone out to meet with Cloud Dancing for a little while, and Michaela had decided to care for the little ones until he got back. He had offered to put off his visit in order to let her get back into the swing of things at work, but she knew he needed some time alone.

The boys were out fishing for the first time in a long time, and it truly felt as if June had been a million light years away. It was mid-July, and even the atmosphere in town was warmer and happier. There hadn't been a cloudy or rainy day since the night of the storm that had frightened Katie a few weeks ago.

A knock came to the door. Michaela hoisted Katie onto her hip and walked over to open the door. Horace was standing there with a package in his hands.

"Afternoon, Dr. Mike."

"Good afternoon, Horace," Michaela said with a smile. She hoped that the package in Horace's hands was from Andrew. She was worried that they hadn't heard from him yet.

"Package from Boston," he said.

"Andrew?"

"No. It's from your ma."  
"Oh," Michaela said quietly, not even trying to hide her disappointment. "Well, thank you, Horace." He tipped his hat and went on his way. Michaela shut the door with her foot and carried Katie back over to her desk. She put her down and opened up the package. The first thing she spotted inside was a letter from her mother. She began to scan over the words.

_Dearest Michaela,_

_My love goes out to you, Sully and the children. I've sent along two blankets; one for Julia and the other for little Beth. I know that it isn't much, and I would like to send money, but I know that sending money through the post is dangerous, and you are stubborn like me and will not accept it. I miss my granddaughter greatly. I miss all of my grandchildren, and I hope that the blanket I've made for Julia will give her comfort since her mother's arms cannot. I only wish I were there to comfort you in your time of need. I've tried to contact Andrew, but each time I've made an attempt to stop at his home, I've been sent away. He does not wish to keep in touch, and I'm concerned that he's slipping further and further away. I'm reminded of Marjorie's disposition after Everett abandoned her, though I know Andrew's condition is far worse, considering the circumstances. Please don't give up on him. He's still family, and he is Julia's father. But, if he does not come around soon, you may want to take legal action for the sake of your granddaughter and my great granddaughter. Remember to give my love to the family._

_Elizabeth Quinn_

Michaela took a deep breath as a tear fell onto the paper, wetting the ink and making a few words run together. She sighed and placed the piece of paper on the desk. Katie curiously looked on as Michaela pulled the two blankets out and held them close to her heart.

"Don't cry, Mama. Please don't cry," she whispered, crawling up onto the desk and standing to place her hand on her mother's cheek. "Don't be sad." Katie's lower lip stuck out, and Michaela placed the blankets down. She picked Katie up and held her close. "I wuv you, Mama."

"I love you too, sweetheart," Michaela whispered, closing her eyes and stroking the child's soft hair. Julia began to cry, and Katie squirmed in Michaela's arms.

"Juwee," she whispered. Michaela grinned and placed Katie down on the floor.

"Alright, I'm coming, sweetheart." She picked up the fresh white blanket with Julia's name embroidered in pink. She picked up the baby girl and wrapped her in it. "Your great-grandmother made this for you, sweetheart. She loves you very much, and someday you'll get to meet her." She wiped her own tears away.

Michaela began to pace back and forth with Julia as the little one's cries turned to whimpers. Once she'd fallen asleep, Michaela picked up Elizabeth's letter and read over the last couple of lines again. Take legal action? What was that supposed to mean? She wondered if her mother was advising her to file for custody of the little one. She didn't know if that was the right thing to do considering the fact that she knew Andrew intended to come back for her someday. Didn't he? Or had he said that in the letter just to put Michaela's fears to rest?

She would need to speak to Sully about this right away. She wasn't sure what to think. She loved her granddaughter as if she were her own, even though having another baby around the house was quite difficult. Julia and Beth loved each other so much, and Michaela knew that they'd be heartbroken if they had to give up their crib mate. She wanted them to be close, and if she and Sully continued to love, nurture and raise young Julia, they'd grow up as close as sisters could be.

She placed Julia down in the bassinet when Beth began to cry, so Michaela took her little one into her arms, knowing she needed a diaper change.

"Katie, do you wanna help Mama change Bethy's diaper?" Katie nodded, and Michaela lifted her up onto the table. Once the two were finished with Beth, the little one was in a much better mood. Beth took Katie's hand and began chewing on her fingers. Katie giggled.

"No chewing!" Katie exclaimed with a giggle. Michaela laughed as she watched her two girls, but something seemed out of place. She slowly brought a sleeping Julia over. Yes, the picture looked complete.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Molly looked at Andrew from her seat in his study. She was blinking away the tears that had been falling since she told him of her husband's murder and the men who were coming after her. Andrew moved to stand by the window, and Molly's eyes followed him.

"You actually think I can get away with this? We can get away with this?" Molly asked softly.

"It's your money. And James'. The both of you need it, and there is nothing illegal about what we're doing. Of course we can get away with it."

"I don't want you involved." Molly stood and started for the door, quite sure that she didn't want to walk out on him now. He was being so helpful, and all she was doing was pushing him away. She didn't want him risking his life for hers.

"I am involved, Molly," Andrew called after her with worry and care in his voice. "I can't turn my back now. You're in danger, and I've got to step in. I'm a doctor, and my job is to save people, and I want to save you and James."

"And how do you propose that you save us after I take possession of my husband's assets?" Andrew swallowed hard. He couldn't believe he was thinking it. He couldn't keep her here, because he knew she'd be found. She couldn't stay in Boston, because she'd never be safe. She had to be somewhere that nobody would ever suspect, and she had to be in a place where there were people he trusted and knew well.

"You've seen Colorado Springs." His heart began to break again at the mere mention of his beloved wife's hometown.

"For a few minutes while we were waiting on passengers to board," Molly said with surprise, turning on her heels to face Andrew. "You want us to go there?" Andrew nodded slowly. "You'll come with us? To help us settle, that is?" Andrew couldn't go back there right now, and she saw his face cloud with mystery and guilt. "Alright." Andrew seemed a bit surprised that she had agreed so easily. She trusted him, and he was glad, but he was surprised that a person in her desperate situation was so trusting. It was a bit of a comfort, actually, because he hadn't truly trusted himself since he'd left Julia with Michaela and Sully.

"You'll go?"

"You think it will be safe, don't you?"

"Of course. I know the people there. They'll treat you right."

"What am I supposed to say? I'm not stupid, Andrew. People are going to talk. I'm a woman with a young son, money and no husband."

"Tell them what you want. You don't have to lie if you don't want to."

"I can tell them you sent me?" Andrew's face turned as pale as the fresh bed sheets in the hospital. Molly took his silence as a 'no' and went on. "I'll think of something." She moved toward the door again, and Andrew followed her. James was sitting on Marie's hip as she stirred sauce on the stove.

"Mama!" James held his arms out to his mother, and Molly carefully took her boy into her arms.

"Thank you, Marie."

"You're welcome, Ma'am." Marie went back to her chores, and Molly met Andrew out in the parlor.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"You have the papers?"

"I have them hidden with me, yes. I'm all set."

"Good," Andrew said with an awkward nod. Both reached for the doorknob, and Molly blushed. An awkward chuckle was shared between the two before Andrew finally stepped forward and opened the door for the lady. Molly started out with James, and before he followed behind, Andrew paused, feeling guilty and not knowing why.

* * *

Sully walked into the clinic to find Michaela slumped over a surgical textbook at her desk. She had such a look of concentration on her face, and he felt guilty about disturbing her. She looked beautiful when she was thinking so vigorously. He had come home early from his meeting with Cloud Dancing, and he wanted to treat his beautiful wife to a picnic. He knew what her reaction would be, and he had about seven-and-a-half different answers for each excuse she might have for not taking an hour out of her rather quiet day to have a picnic lunch with him by Willow Creek.

"Afternoon," he greeted her after he shut the door. Michaela looked up from her book, and Sully was pleased to see the sparkle in her eyes. She flashed him a smile and immediately closed her book. Sully wasn't used to her putting her reading away when he entered the clinic. He usually had to tear her away from her books for fear that her fingers would sprout roots and be forever planted within the pages.

"You're back early," she said quietly. "How was your visit with Cloud Dancing?"

"Good," Sully replied, walking over toward the desk. "Girls sleepin'?"

"Yes, and Katie was excited when I told her that her Poppy would be watching her for the remainder of the day."

"What if I told ya I got a baby-sitter for an hour so we could go have lunch? Alone." Michaela raised an eyebrow.

"Alone? No patients, wolves or crying children?"

"Nope. Completely alone. Just the two of us."

"Well, I think I'd tell you that you were dreaming."

"I did get a baby-sitter."

"Who?"

"Well, two baby-sitters. Matthew and Brian said they'd do it. Matthew ain't busy at the jail, and Mrs. Slicker let class out early 'cause the kids finished their work."

"I do have a lot of work to do here," Michaela explained, nodding toward the pile of unfolded linens on the examining table. Sully had to bite back saying 'Leave 'em. Colleen's always happy to help out.' He couldn't believe that he was still finding himself holding back from talking about Colleen as if she were still alive. It was hard to adjust, and he wasn't the only one who would slip up sometimes. Michaela had found herself commenting about Colleen making dinner on more than one occasion, but at least she was beginning to not cry every time she made that mistake.

"Can't it wait 'til ya get back? It's just an hour."

"But, what if there' s an emergency?" He had to keep himself from saying that Andrew would be around in case of an emergency.

"Michaela, the world ain't gonna fall apart if ya go away with your husband for just an hour." That seemed to do the trick! She smiled, and Sully extended his hand to her. She took it and stood. Matthew and Brian came walking in as if on cue, and Michaela gave the two of them specific instructions, though she did that every time she left the boys alone with the little ones for even five minutes.

Sully took Michaela's hand and led her out of the clinic. A picnic basket and blanket were waiting on the bench, and Sully picked them up in his free hand before leading his wife toward Willow Creek. They didn't speak for a good five minutes after they were out of town, but Michaela finally turned to her husband in the middle of a path and smiled up at him. He couldn't help but smile back. He hadn't seen her like this since the day Beth was born!

"Thank you." That was definitely out of the blue!

"For what?" Sully asked, his hands joining with his wife's before letting them swing at their sides, still linked together. "Michaela?" She pursed her lips together and let out a soft hum.

"For being there for me all of this time."

"You were there for me too. We helped each other," he explained.

"I know," she whispered. "But, you were the strongest one." She shook her head. "I'm afraid I wasn't so helpful."

"It ain't your fault. Somethin' terrible happened, and we were all dealin' with it in our own ways."

"But, you stayed strong."

"Maybe on the outside," Sully whispered. Michaela smiled softly. She loved the way Sully felt that he could say anything to her. She knew that he knew he wouldn't seem like any less of a man to her for crying or saying he was upset. He was the strongest and most courageous man she knew, and she felt lucky and honored to be his wife. "To tell ya the truth, Michaela, I think we make each other stronger. It's almost like we're one livin', beatin' heart, and when we're apart, our heart's divided and ain't whole 'til we're together again. We're stronger when we're together, and I'm the luckiest man on earth to share a heart with you."

* * *

Andrew and Molly walked out of the bank. Andrew was carrying a sleeping James', and Molly was walking with her hand nervously twitching against her money purse. Andrew tried not to look worried, but he couldn't help but wonder if any of the people they were passing were watching them and knowing they had a very large sum of money in their possession at that very moment.

"Papa," James whimpered in his sleep. Molly and Andrew exchanged concerned glances as they walked toward the nearest horse-drawn carriage. Andrew paid the driver, and Molly gave him directions to her townhouse. The two sat side-by-side in an uncomfortable silence as little James opened his sleepy eyes, popped his thumb into his mouth and fell back into a restful sleep.

"It's been a long time since he's seen his father," she whispered as the carriage rattled along the cobblestones. Andrew said nothing, knowing that someday, Michaela would be saying virtually the same thing to Sully about Julia. Andrew looked out as the summer sun lit up the rooftops of the business that lined the streets. He suddenly felt claustrophobic, as if each line of buildings was an army soldier about to march over him, trample him and leave him in the dirt to die. "Andrew? Is something the matter?" Molly asked, situating James' sleeping form in her arms. Andrew glanced up at the sky, wishing to God that the clouds would roll in and pour rain down on them to cause a distraction. He wished anything could keep him from answering her, and she knew he was reluctant.

Andrew couldn't look her in the eyes. "I'm fine." She knew he was lying for a reason, so she decided not to press him any further.

It wasn't long before the carriage stopped in front of Molly's home. Andrew noticed a man seated on a bench just down the block. He caught Molly's attention.

"Don't move quickly, but is that the man?" Andrew asked slowly. Molly's eyes slowly turned to the man that Andrew was trying to avoid staring at.

"That's him," she whispered.

"Getting out?" the carriage driver asked, obviously annoyed that his passengers were taking their time getting out. Didn't they know that he had better things to do?

"Sir, could you wait for us?" Andrew asked, handing him five dollars. The man counted his tip and nodded his head. Andrew helped Molly out of the carriage and took the boy into his arms again. "Only take what you need for yourself and James." Molly nodded. Andrew nervously glanced at the young woman. "Do you have a maid?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "Why?"

"What does she look like?" Molly rolled her eyes.

"Andrew, what are you talking about?"

"Please." She sighed heavily.

"She's about my build and maybe a little taller." Andrew nodded. "Why?"

"Alright. Here's the plan."

Molly's assassin watched as Andrew and Molly leaned closer together. What were they doing? Talking? Kissing? Well, Molly wouldn't be doing much of that for long. He watched as Molly and Andrew both disappeared into the house with the young boy. It wasn't twenty minutes later that they came out with luggage and James in tow. It was time to act. Nicholas Hill started off toward his private carriage.

He lost sight of Molly's buggy soon enough, but when he caught up, he found her alone with the driver. Thinking this was the perfect opportunity, he brought his horses to a quicker canter and began to catch up to the first carriage.

He drew his gun, holding it to his side as the carriage began to move beside Molly's. He could see that the driver hadn't noticed yet, and as Molly's carriage began to speed up, Nicholas brought his to exceed that speed. He pulled his gun as he passed by, but when he saw the woman in Molly's clothes, he was speechless. He brought his carriage to a halt, knowing that they had fooled him. This woman must have been Molly's maid, and that only meant that Molly was on her way in a different direction, and he was going to have to get to her before it was too late. He had to hand it to her. She and that young man were clever.

Molly and Andrew laughed freely as the carriage neared the train station. They kept looking behind to see if their assailant was catching up, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"I didn't actually think it would work! Poor Gertrude must have been frightened! You're sure she's safe?"

"He's only after money, so if he's got another murder to cover up, it not going to be easy for him." James bounced happily on Andrew's knee. He had slept through the entire ordeal, and now that the adrenaline rush was over, Molly was realizing that she was leaving her home once again.

"You seem to know a lot about criminals," Molly said with a raised eyebrow. Andrew nodded.

"My wife's brother is studying to be a lawyer." He had said it before he could stop himself, and now Molly was staring at him, trying not to let her mouth gape open. "I mean . . ."

"You're married?" she asked with surprise, feeling a little embarrassed. Andrew swallowed hard, not exactly sure of how to explain himself.

"I was."  
"You were?"

"She died," he said softly.

"Oh, Andrew, I'm so sorry," Molly said gently, taking James into her arms. "I didn't know."

"How could you have known? I never told you." She eyed him.

"That's why you were leaving Colorado Springs." Andrew nodded.

"Yes."

"And that's why you can't come with us." He nodded again and was silent. "Don't worry, Andrew. I won't mention this to anyone. I'll go and start a new life for myself. Perhaps one day we'll see each other again? When it's safe?" Andrew said nothing, and the carriage stopped. He paid their new driver and helped Molly and James down. He carried their luggage into the station and waited to make sure it was safely put on board. When Molly stepped onto the train, she turned around, and her eyes were searching Andrew's. She was on the brink of tears, but she couldn't let herself cry over someone she barely knew.

"When it's safe," Andrew said quietly, reaching out to touch little James' hand. His eyes were locked on Molly's, and when she turned her back to find her seat, he turned back to leave the station, and he felt guiltier than ever.

* * *

The last of the picnic plates were placed in the basket, and Michaela watched as Sully moved it to the side. She smiled as he stared at her in the way she loved the most. His hand reached across to gently stroke her cheek, and they leaned in to press their lips together. Michaela felt more relaxed than she had in a very long time, and she let that feeling take control as Sully gently lay her down on the picnic blanket.

The feelings she had longed to feel for such a long time came rushing back to her, and she knew it was still a little too soon to be doing this. But, at the moment, she didn't really care. She needed to feel close to him. She needed to feel desirable again. She hadn't felt very desirable lately.

Sully pulled away and looked into his wife's beautiful, bright eyes.

"It's too soon?" Michaela nodded sadly.

"Yes," she breathed. Sully started to move, but she pulled him back to her. "No. Please, hold me." They relaxed together, side by side and holding one another. Sully's hand smoothed his wife's hair and softly massaged her back. Michaela's hands tenderly played with the hair at the back of Sully's neck, and they rested their foreheads together. They closed their eyes and listened to each other's breathing and to the sounds all around them.

A cool breeze blew past them, and Michaela found herself snuggling closer to her husband. Sully pulled her tighter and before they knew it, they started kissing again. Softly at first, but the passion mounted by the moment.

It wasn't until a hawk screeched in the distance that both Michaela and Sully realized that they were about to take things too far. So, Sully sat up and held his hand out to his wife. He helped her stand and moved his hand to pick out a blade of grass that had managed to stick in the hair near her ear. She laughed and stood on her toes to give her husband a peck on the lips. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Soon," she whispered. They gathered their picnic items and started back toward town. Michaela's train of thought had shifted, however, and now she was chewing on her bottom lip. Sully noticed this and looked forward.

"Wanna tell me?"

"Tell what?" she asked innocently, looking ahead, searching for words. Sully gave her a skeptical look. She knew very well that she was fretting about something, and her small talk was only a way of beating around the bush. She needed to tell him what was on her mind, and she needed to pick through every possibility they had, though she could only think of one for the moment.

They walked in silence for a few moments, before Michaela finally opened her mouth to speak.

"I received a letter from mother today."

"Ya did? What'd it say?" he wondered, studying his wife's features.

"She sent blankets for Julia and Beth," she explained, "and she sends her love to you and the children."

"I'm sure that ain't all she said."

"No, it's not," Michaela breathed. "Sully, mother thinks that we should take legal action for Julia's sake." Sully took a deep breath, knowing where this conversation was going.

"Adoption?" Michaela nodded. "Andrew said he was comin' back."

"And we haven't heard from him since before he left, Sully. I believe he loves Julia, but I don't think he can care for her the way she needs to be cared for. He's so young and inexperienced."

"But, he's her Pa. And, what about you? When the children came along, you were raisin' 'em all by yourself. Ya did just fine."

"It was difficult, Sully, and the children were considerably older than Julia is." Sully nodded. "I didn't have much of a choice, though if I did, I wouldn't have given them up for the world." She shook her head. "Andrew has a choice, and I don't feel like he's ready for this responsibility. He's never seen her or held her, Sully. She needs a father who can hold her and love her and tell her stories before bedtime. She needs a mother who can do the same things and help her to learn and grow into a young woman! Colleen would want her to be happy and to have us in her life."

"You're sayin' she won't be happy if she's with Andrew?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that I feel she has a home here, and though we're her grandparents, we love her as if she were our own." Sully nodded.

"That's true. I'd put my life on the line for her just like I would for you or the kids." Sully pulled Michaela into his arms. "Truth is that I want her safe, and I want her to know that her grandma and grandpa love her. I want her growin' up with playmates and knowin' we love her just like we were her real ma and pa. We can tell her stories 'bout when Colleen was younger and tell her how much she looks like her ma." Michaela had tears in her eyes. "But, I don't want her forgettin' 'bout her pa. I don't wanna get your hopes up, Michaela, because if we do this, Andrew's got a right to take her away from us." Michaela looked up to Sully with hope in her eyes.

"We'll wait a while longer," she whispered. "If we don't hear from him, I think it's safe to take action, Sully. I'm sure that by then, he'll feel that Julia is better off staying where she is." Sully nodded in agreement and continued on toward town with his wife's hand in his and hope filling his heart by the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Pa?" Brian walked into the barn with Katie holding his hand. Sully was saddling Flash for Michaela, because she needed to make a few house calls.

"What is it, Brian?"

"Ya think we can go into town?"

"What for?"

"Well, I forgot to give Miss Dorothy my article for the Gazette." Sully looked at Katie whose little eyelids were starting to droop. He gave the straps on Michaela's saddle one good tug to make sure they were secure, before he scooped his daughter up into his arms.

"Well, I don't think we ought to take the girls into town this late, but I'm sure Taffy wouldn't mind the exercise." Brian looked at his horse who whinnied from her stall. It was getting late, so he was surprised that he was being allowed to go out at this time of the evening.

"Really?"

"Sure. As long as ya go straight there and straight back, and stick to the main road."

"I will!" Brian rushed about to get his horse saddled, and Sully chuckled, carrying Katie out of the barn and toward the house. Michaela was just coming outside with her medical bag, and Sully watched as she put her riding hat on and let her hair fly loose beneath it.

"Flash is ready to go," he announced. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a loving kiss.

"Thank you."

"No problem," he chuckled against her lips. "Brian's goin' into town to give his article to Dorothy. I told him he could as long as he comes right back home. I figure he'll be home before sunset." Michaela nodded. He gave her a concerned glance. "You sure ya wanna ride today? You could take the wagon. I mean, it's been . . ."

"Five weeks since Beth, and I'm feeling fine," Michaela reminded him. She normally would have waited a little while longer, but a patient needed her, and Flash was the easiest and fastest way to get to her.

"Just be careful, alright?" Michaela nodded.

"I just fed the little ones, so they should be alright until I return." She gave him another quick kiss before she rushed into the barn so she wouldn't be late to Mrs. Anderson's house. Flash came prancing out of the barn a few moments later, and Michaela waved to her husband and sleepy daughter. Sully returned to the homestead after Brian left, and he put Katie down in her high chair.

"Well, Kates, it's just the two of us 'til your sisters wake up." He caught himself. He'd just referred to both Beth and Julia as his daughters. They'd been together since Julia's birth, and he had been caring for Julia with Michaela as if the little one were their own. Adoption seemed like a wonderful idea, but he knew that getting his hopes up was a bad idea.

Katie looked up at her father with bright eyes, and he smiled down at her, remembering the first time he peered into those beautiful eyes after her birth.

"Down, Poppy," she said quietly. "I'm not hungry." Sully pulled her into his arms and let her toddle about on the floor. He was amazed at how fast she was growing. At three years old, she was standing a little past his knees, and her feathery-blonde hair was past her shoulders and usually in a tangled mess before Michaela caught up to her with a brush.  
"You look just like your Ma," he pointed out as she crawled into one of the wing-backed armchairs. At that moment, the door opened and both Michaela and Brian came in. "What's goin' on?"  
"Storm's comin'," Brian pointed out.

"What about your article?" Sully asked.

"Miss Dorothy'll print it up with the next gazette." He shrugged and went up to his room to put his writing journal away. Sully helped Michaela with her coat and her medical bag. He could tell she was worried, but he was relieved that she had turned around and come back.

"I hope Mrs. Anderson will understand."  
"I'm sure she will," Sully assured her, kissing the side of her head. The first rumble of thunder shook the house, and Katie froze in her seat.

"Storm," she murmured. Michaela knelt by the chair and touched her daughter's cheek.

"It's nothing to be afraid of, sweetheart. Your Poppy and I are right here. We won't let anything happen to you." Katie didn't look convinced, but she relaxed a little when her mother lifted her into her arms. "Let's get you up to bed."

"No! I stay with you and Poppy!" the little girl insisted. Michaela and Sully exchanged looks, and Beth began to cry upstairs.

"I'll get her," Sully offered. By the time he started up the stairs, Julia had started crying as well, and when Michaela settled down in the chair by the fire, Sully and Brian started down the stairs with both infants in tow.

Everyone settled down in front of the fire, and as Sully sat in the chair opposite of Michaela's with Beth in his arms, Brian sat Indian style with Julia. Michaela bounced Katie on her knee, and as little baby noises were spouted from the three young ones, Michaela truly felt as if the family fit perfectly together.

"What do you think about having Julia around, Brian?" Michaela asked casually, pulling a brush into her hands and gently running it through Katie's hair. Katie closed her eyes, hoping her mother's touch would be gentle, and it was. She settled in her mother's lap and let her continue brushing her hair.

"I dunno. I guess I don't think about it much anymore," he explained.

"Why's that?" Sully wondered.

"I dunno. I mean, I know she and Beth ain't twins, but they're so much alike that it seems like they've both been here all along." The door flew open, startling the family for a moment until they saw that it was Matthew.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, closing the door behind himself. "Mr. Saunders had some trouble out by his homestead, so I went out to check on things."

"And?" Michaela asked curiously.

"He thought somebody stole one of his horses. Turns out the horse jumped the fence, 'cause it was spooked by the comin' storm." Brian laughed a little and adjusted Julia in his arms.

"Would you like some coffee?" Michaela asked, starting to get up.

"Sure, but I'll get it," Matthew offered, going over to the stove to put on the kettle. Michaela smiled and settled back into her chair to finish brushing Katie's golden white locks. Sully and Michaela's eyes met as Matthew settled onto the floor beside Brian with a cup of coffee in his hands a few minutes later. They seem to be questioning one another without saying a word, but Sully finally nodded. Michaela turned her attention to her sons.

"Sully and I need to discuss something with the both of you."

"What's that?" Matthew asked quietly, taking a sip and placing the cup to the side to let the hot liquid cool. Michaela looked at Sully, and he reached out with his free hand to take hers.

"I received a letter from my mother today."

"What'd Grandma say?" Brian asked curiously.

"Well, first and foremost, she wanted me to tell you all that she loves you." Katie giggled as Michaela lightly tickled her foot. Matthew and Brian glanced at one another.

"I'm sure she didn't write just to say that. What else, Ma?" Matthew asked, taking another sip of coffee. Sully cleared his throat, and Michaela nodded to him.

"Your grandma thinks that we ought to do somethin' 'bout havin' Julia stayin' here." Brian swallowed hard.

"Ya mean, send her away? I thought ya wanted her here."

"Of course we do!" Michaela chimed in. "Sweetheart, your grandmother was only thinking that it might be best if we take legal action." Matthew understood now.

"She wants ya to adopt Julia?" Michaela nodded. "Are ya sure 'bout this?"

"We're gonna give it a month," Sully said quietly. "Andrew might come for her by then, but if he don't . . ."

"If he doesn't, we're going to pursue adoption," Michaela spoke up. Brian and Matthew looked at one another again. "We want to know what the two of you think of that." Brian was quiet.

"Well," Matthew said quietly, "I'm thinkin' I'll be goin' back to school as soon as things settle down 'round here, but I was also thinkin' of puttin' it off 'til next year. I wouldn't mind stayin' longer to help if ya need me."

"We don't want this to interfere with your schooling, Matthew," Michaela pointed out. "If this does happen, we'll continue as we are now, and we'll adjust once you move back to school." Brian looked down at Julia in his arms. "Brian? What do you think?"

"I think I've gotten used to havin' three little sisters 'round here, and I don't think I could get used to it if one of 'em went away."

"So, once a month passes, you can adopt Julia?" Matthew asked.

"No," Sully said quietly. "In a month or so, your Ma and me will contact Andrew to let him know 'bout what we wanna do. If he consents, we can go through with it. If he doesn't say anything in a month, we can go through with it anyway."

"Why not do it now?" Matthew asked. "I mean, I'm sure his mind's not gonna change in a month."

"You're probably right, Matthew, but we don't wanna rush. I'm sure that if Andrew ain't ready to take care of Julia, he'd want her to be happy. I don't think we're gonna have much of a problem."

* * *

The train pulled into Colorado Springs a few days later, and Molly took a breath of fresh air as she stepped off of the train with her young son sleeping in her arms. Though she'd only been in Colorado Springs for a few minutes the first time she'd been there, she remembered the place very well, and she felt the sun shining down on her in the hot July afternoon. She felt happy, though a piece of her was frightened to be alone in the middle of the rugged West with a lot of money in her money purse and a young son to care for.

"Your luggage, ma'am?" asked a tall, lanky sort of fellow as he stepped out of the depot. "Need some help?"

"Um, yes sir. Thank you." Horace nodded and helped the young woman who obviously had her arms full already. She pointed out which things were hers, and he brought them up and away from the train.

"Where ya headin'?"

"Um, are there rooms for rent?" Molly wondered.

"Sure are," Horace replied. "There's a boardin' house at the end of town near the mercantile. You can get set up right there."

"Thank you, sir."

"I can have somebody help ya take your things." Molly was about to decline, but she knew she couldn't handle a three year old and her luggage at the same time.

"Thank you very much." Matthew, who was picking up the post for his family walked over.

"I can help ya over to the boardin' house," he offered. "I was on my way to the general store anyway."

"If it isn't a bother," Molly replied. Matthew shook his head.

"Nope. No bother," he replied. He extended a hand. "Name's Matthew Cooper."

"Molly Thomas," she said quietly. Matthew judged by the black dress she wore that she was a young widow, and he figured he shouldn't pry. Horace and Matthew pulled the small amount of luggage that Molly had arrived with into the wagon, and soon, Matthew was driving the wagon through town toward the boarding house.

"Must've been a long trip," Matthew said, nodding toward young James.

"Yes. We've come from Boston." She hadn't meant to say it. She hadn't even meant to give her real name, but she had, and she hoped that Matthew wouldn't be able to connect her to Dr. Cook, because Andrew didn't seem to want people to know she knew him. But, somehow, words came out easier with this man she just met. He was a kind stranger.

"I've got family in Boston," Matthew said slowly, squinting into the hot July sun.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. My grandma, Elizabeth Quinn." Molly had heard of the Quinn family, and she had had no idea any of their relatives would have settled out West.

"Have you lived here all your life?"

"Yep," Matthew said casually. He smiled at the beautiful young woman. Molly felt her skin blushing, or was she merely hot from the sun? Her skin was pale from playing a housewife and mother for years, and now that she was under the hot sun, her skin seemed to be soaking in the sunrays, and her entire body felt hot. "You alright?"

"Yes. I think I'm just a bit thirsty."

"Here." Matthew stopped the wagon just in front of the livery. Normally, he wouldn't have done such a thing, but Molly was a beautiful woman, and he wanted to be hospitable to her.

"Where are you going!" she asked worriedly.

"I'll be right back." He got out and started over toward a small café near the livery. Molly situated James in her arms, and her eyes darted around nervously. A few men passed by and tipped their hats, and a few women walked by admiring the fancy black dress this young woman was wearing. She suddenly felt out of place.

"Here ya go. Miss Grace told ya to bring the cup back whenever ya get the chance." Matthew handed her a glass of lemonade and climbed back into the wagon. Molly was impressed by this handsome young man's chivalry. She couldn't help but admire the strong, bold features in his face. He couldn't have been much older than her.

She took a sip, and her eyes went wide.

"This is the best lemonade I've ever had," she said softly.

"Miss Grace is the best cook in town. That's why she runs the café." He smiled as Molly drank down some more of the cool liquid. James woke in his mother's arms and eagerly reached for the cup. She let him drink, and he finished it up.

"We're in Colorado Springs, James," she whispered. James looked around.

"Horses! Lots of horses!" Matthew chuckled.

"Mr. Cooper, I'd like to introduce you to my young son James. He's three."

"It's just Matthew." Molly smiled at him. "Nice to meet ya, James."

"Who are you?"

"This is the kind man who's showing us to the boarding house," she whispered. "Say hello to Matthew."

"Hi," he said shyly. Matthew smiled and pulled the wagon over in front of the boarding house. He helped Molly and James down.

"How long ya plannin' on stayin'?"

"Hopefully not very long," she said quietly, wishing she was back in Boston with Andrew. Matthew almost looked disappointed. "It's not that I don't find this town very charming. I do. I just hate being away from home."

"You got family there?"  
"I did," she replied, looking down at her long, black dress. Matthew nodded in understanding.

"I'll go get Widow Johnson and see if we can get ya a room."

"Thank you." Matthew went into the boarding house, and a few minutes later, Molly was paying the Widow Johnson, and Matthew was hauling her luggage up to the room she'd been granted. "Thanks again, Mr. . . . I mean, Matthew."

"Miss . . ."

"If I'm calling you Matthew, you can call me Molly." Matthew swallowed hard.

"Alright. Well, ya gotta be hungry." Molly didn't answer, but it was obvious that she was. "Since ya don't know nobody here yet, would ya like to have lunch with me at Grace's?" Molly thought for a moment. She was nervous and didn't know what to do. She felt like she could trust this man, but she knew that she couldn't let him know why she was really there. She didn't want to risk anything for herself, her son and even for Andrew.

"I'd like that," she finally said, happy that she didn't have to feel quite so alone in this little town. She hooked her arm through Matthew's, adjusted James on her hip and walked toward Grace's Café.

* * *

_Sully and Michaela,_

_I'm finding it difficult to get the words out that I need to say, but it has to be done. I know I haven't been a good father to Julia. I've never even let myself see her or touch her. I thought that spending some time away would do me good, but it hasn't. I realize now that I'm still not ready to be a part of my daughter's life. I know she's safe with the two of you, and I want her to have a good life. I don't know when I'll come for her, but I need time. Maybe I'll never be ready, but I have to keep thinking positively. I'm sorry for neglecting my correspondence and my responsibilities. Adjusting to life without Colleen and knowing that my daughter is out there without me isn't easy. I hope all is well in Colorado Springs._

_Andrew Cook

* * *

_

Michaela stared at the telegram in her hands and brushed a tear away. She was holding Beth in one arm as she read, and she couldn't get past the fact that Andrew had finally responded to their several letters and telegrams.

She was confused though. Part of his telegram gave promise that he would come back for his daughter, but part of it showed that he wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. No, with Colleen gone, Andrew was completely lost.

"Michaela?" Sully knocked on the door and came walking in with Katie's hand in his. Michaela turned with Beth in one arm and the telegram in her free hand. "What's wrong?"

"Matthew dropped our mail off, and this was with it." She handed the telegram to her husband, and Katie wriggled from her father's grasp and walked over to sit in her mother's desk chair. Sully read the message, and when he was finished, he looked up at Michaela. He didn't know what to think either. Was Andrew going to come back, or was he just saying those words on paper, trying to see what they would look like and if they would come true? Andrew truly seemed concerned, but the tone of his letter didn't show much of an improvement on his part. Andrew still had a long way to go before he would be able to take responsibility for his daughter.

Michaela put Beth down in the bassinet beside Julia. She looked down at the little girls and all she saw were her daughters. HER daughters. She had not been a grandmother to Julia since she was born. She had been a mother who nursed and diapered her child and rocked her to sleep at night. Julia Michaela Cook deserved more than a home to sleep in. She deserved an official family.

"Sully, I don't want to wait. We need to petition for adoption right away."

"You're sure?"

"I am if you are. Sully, Julia needs us to be her family. I know it shouldn't matter what a piece of paper says, but without that piece of paper, Julia could be taken away in an instant."

"Doin' this is a gamble, Michaela," Sully warned nervously. "There's no tellin' what Andrew's gonna think?"

"But we have to try." Sully nodded, knowing there was no other choice. He pulled her into his arms.

"We're gonna try, Michaela. We're gonna give this little girl a family for real. She won't just be ours in our hearts. She'll be ours in every way that counts."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Matthew sat across the table from Molly at Grace's Café, and he watched as she finished the rest of her lunch. She loved every bite of it, and even young James was quiet as he ate a slice of Grace's famous pie.

Matthew placed a half dollar on the table to pay for the meals, and Molly put her hand up.

"No, that's alright. I can pay for myself." Matthew was a little shocked. The only woman he'd ever seen offer to pay for herself had been Dr. Mike. But then again, this woman was from Boston too.

"You sure ya ain't met my ma before?" Matthew asked with a chuckle as Molly lay down her own money.

"No, I haven't," Molly said with a smile. "Though I . . ." She was about to say that she knew a doctor from Colorado Springs, but then again, that would have given her knowledge of Dr. Cook away.

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing," she said with a laugh. "I think I've met one of her sisters." That wasn't a lie. She had met a woman with the last name of Quinn before.

At that moment, Michaela and Sully came walking over. Michaela was pushing the carriage that they once used for Katie, but now little Beth and Julia were sleeping in it. Sully was carrying Katie.

"Ma! Sully," Matthew waved them over. Michaela smiled at the young woman who sat across from her son. It had been a long time since she had seen Matthew in the company of such a pretty young woman.

"Good afternoon," Michaela said with a nod.

"Ma, this is Molly Thomas. Molly, this is my mother, Dr. Michaela Quinn."

"It's a pleasure, Dr. Quinn. I haven't been here long, and I've already heard so much about you." Michaela smiled and shook Molly's hand.

"And this is . . ." Matthew struggled for the words. "This is my Pa, Sully." Sully shook Molly's hand, and soon, they were all sitting around the same table at Grace's and eating and talking together.

James and Katie had taken a liking to one another and were running around the table playing tag.

"It looks like James has found a new playmate," Molly laughed. "How old is Katie?"

"She just turned three in May," Michaela said with a smile.

"James is three also," Molly said with a yawn. She smiled, her cheeks growing rosy. "We've had a long trip."

"She came from Boston," Matthew said with a smile. Sully caught that look in Matthew's eye. He hadn't seen him look at a girl like that since, well, since Ingrid!

"Really?" Michaela asked with wide eyes. She glanced over the black dress that Molly was wearing, and she assumed that after the passing of her husband, she had moved out West to start a new life with her little boy. Michaela had done something of the sort when her father had passed on.

"Yes. I think James is going to love it here. He has the freedom to run and play, whereas in Boston, there wasn't much room for that unless we strolled down to the park. Molly took in a deep breath, relishing the scent of the fresh mountain air compared to the streets of Boston that sometimes smelled like wet pavement and horse dung. Of course, horse dung was a smell that was quite prominent in every town, but the smell of the wild flowers and the fresh water seemed to overpower it here. She knew she was going to love her stay here, though she hoped to get back to Boston, no, to Andrew quickly. She cared for him, and she knew he cared for her too, but he was having difficulties grieving over the loss of his wife.

"Well, well," came a voice from behind. "Michaela, you didn't tell me you had another sister." Sully looked at Preston, and Molly turned in her seat. Preston extended a hand. "Preston A. Lodge the Third."

"Molly Thomas. Nice to meet you. I'm not Dr. Quinn's sister, by the way. I've actually just met her." She was beginning to worry now. If word got out that a Molly Thomas was living in Colorado Springs, Mr. Hill would surely come looking for her. But, she pretended not to worry and listened to Mr. Lodge's next question.

"You're new in town?"

"Well, for the time being. I'm not sure how long I'm planning to stay," she said forwardly.

"Well, if you're looking for a comfortable bed to sleep in and the finest hot springs in the territory, you should come pay a visit to my hotel." Sully had to roll his eyes a little. Preston was a living, breathing, walking and constantly talking advertisement.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lodge, but I've already made arrangements to stay at the boarding house in town," Molly said with a smile.

"Ah," Preston replied with obvious disappointment. "Well, if you should find your lodging lacking in everyday necessities, please come by the hotel, and I will make sure you are comfortable."

"Thank you, Mr. Lodge," Molly replied. As Preston walked away, a funny look came over her face. "Who, or exactly what was that?" Michaela stopped herself from laughing.

"The banker from Boston," she commented.

"Boston? I thought as much," Molly said. "He reminds me of a lot of men I've met in Boston. Eager and arrogant." Matthew grinned at this beautiful young woman. She sure dressed like a widow, but she didn't act like one!

At that point, Beth began to cry.

"Oh dear. Sully, could you watch Julia and Katie? I need to feed Beth."

"Sure." Sully kissed her on the cheek before she hurried off with Beth in her arms.

"Sully?" Horace came walking into the café. "Ya wanted to talk to me 'bout somethin'?" Sully realized that he had earlier asked Horace to meet with him, and in all of the excitement of having a new visitor in town, he had forgotten to keep that appointment.

"Oh, sorry Horace. Yeah. Matthew, could ya watch the girls for just a minute?"

"Sure." Molly smiled as Matthew pulled Julia out of the carriage and into his arms.

"Three young ones? Your parents must be awfully busy." Matthew shrugged.

"Yeah, but me and my little brother have been helpin' out, ya know? It ain't been easy 'round the house, but I moved back in when the little ones were born."

"Moved back in?"

"Yeah, I'm goin' to law school. Well, I was until I figured my family needed me more. I'll go back in a year or so."

"You can do that?" she asked, in awe that this man had dropped everything for the sake of his family. She'd never known a man to do that before.

"Sure," he said with a chuckle. "It took a lotta work, though." Molly smiled and looked at baby Julia as she slept in Matthew's arms.

"It must be interesting having three siblings who are so much younger than you." Matthew shrugged.

"Well, she's really not my sister. She's my niece." Molly raised an eyebrow.

"Your niece?"

"My sister died in childbirth. We're carin' for her 'til her pa can figure out what to do. Dr. Mike and Sully are lookin' into adoptin' her though."

"Well, what do you think is best for her?"

"I think she could have a good life here in Colorado Springs. I know her pa loves her, but he still ain't ready to care for."

"That's sad," Molly said softly. She sighed softly and drank the last drop of lemonade in her glass. "It's sad that a man could abandon his newborn baby just because he's grieving. She's his responsibility." Matthew knew those words were his exact thoughts, but he only nodded.

"We're managin'," Matthew explained. "But, we're getting used to havin' her around. She's like a sister to Beth. She's like a sister to all of us, really." James began to get fussy, and Molly lifted him into her lap.

"I should be getting back to the boarding house."

"I'll walk you." Molly smiled as Matthew stood, placed Julia into the bassinet and hoisted Katie into his arms.

"Thank you," she said with a grin. They began to walk out of the café, and both of them were feeling things they hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

Andrew walked into his home without Edward opening the door. He was surprised that the house was silent.

"Edward? Marie?" he asked. He heard not one sound and smelled no scent of dinner cooking in the kitchen. That was odd. They didn't have the day off, so why did the house seem so . . . dead? He placed his medical bag on a table in the foyer. He noticed that the flower arrangement was spilled across the table. Marie usually tended to the foyer first when she started cleaning in the afternoons. "Hello?" The clock in the library chimed four times.

A sudden feeling of dread washed of Andrew's soul, and he forced himself down the hallway. His legs felt like they were stuck to the floor, but somehow, he made it into his study. His fears were coming alive as he found all of his papers and files scattered about the floor. Someone had been here, and they had been looking for something specific.

Edward and Marie were both lying motionless on the floor. He knelt down to them and checked for pulses and breathing. Thank God they were still alive.

It was then that he noticed the locked drawer had been ripped out of his desk, and Molly and James' travel plans were laid out on the top of the desk. Oh God, he knew he should have destroyed them. But, he had written them out so he knew where they would be on what days in case he needed to contact them, and he had even had written the exact day that they would arrive in Colorado Springs.

"No," he said, feeling his throat go numb and dry. Nicholas Hill had been in his home. Now he knew where Molly was, and Andrew knew that he was on his way to find her.

* * *

It had been a rather uneventful day in town, so Michaela had come home early. Brian was off doing his chores outside, and Katie was down for a nap. The girls were laying in the bassinet and kicking around, but they were far from sleeping.

Michaela was waiting for Sully to come home, because he was supposed to be in town sending a telegram to Andrew in Boston. She was happy that they were doing something about the situation, but at the same time, she couldn't help but worry that they were taking something away from young Julia.

"Done," Sully said as he walked into the homestead. Michaela looked up from her reading.

"What?" She was a bit startled.

"I sent a telegram to Boston to let Andrew know what we're doing. Michaela breathed a quick sigh of relief, but Sully saw the worry in her eyes. "Michaela?" Michaela contemplated her words for a moment before speaking.

"I'm starting to think we're going about this the wrong way. Perhaps we should tell him in person."

"Michaela, we can't take the kids all the way to Boston right now."

"No, but perhaps we should have asked Andrew to come."

"He never woulda came."  
"What if he does now, Sully? What if he takes Julia back with him?" Sully sighed and sat down across from Michaela.

"If he does, that's his right, but he's gotta do what's best for Julia. If he don't know what's best for her by now, then he ain't ready to be a pa." Michaela nodded in agreement.

"I know that you're right, but . . ." Sully took her hands in his.

"But?"

"I can't help thinking that we're letting Colleen down." She swallowed hard. "She wanted Andrew to be a part of Julia's life."

"But more than that, she wanted Julia to be happy and healthy."

"Who are we to say that she won't be happy with Andrew?" Sully knew this was going to happen, and he couldn't blame Michaela for being so upset and concerned.

"Maybe she would be," Sully explained. "But, we've loved her from the minute she came into this world. We've been her parents, Michaela, because her ma and pa couldn't be here. In her pa's case, he didn't want to be here. We know what she needs, and she needs us and our home."

"But she needs her father."

"I agree."

"If we go through with this, Andrew has to be a part of her life. We can't let Colleen down." Sully kissed her hand. His wife had a heart as big as the world, and she was always looking out for everyone's needs. Julia was a lucky little girl to have a grandmother . . . a mother like Michaela.

* * *

Molly sat in the quiet room in the boarding house as James napped silently on the bed. She was scribbling away in her diary, and when her pen paused on the stained paper, her mind began to race. Matthew was a kind gentleman with a handsome face and eyes that someone could drown in if they weren't careful. He hand a beautiful smile, but behind it told the story of a rather happy past with some very painful circumstances.

Then her mind drifted to Andrew. He was kind and helpful and very handsome. He had helped her out with her husband's finances when someone was coming after her to kill her. She hadn't had time to grieve her husband's passing, because she had constantly been in fear for her life and her son's. Andrew had been very closed off from the time she met him. It was hard to see what kind of man he truly was, and though he was a very quiet fellow, his kind actions spoke louder than any words.

She thought about her husband. Peter had been a good man. She'd fallen in love with him when she'd met him, and she had thought he could give her everything. He had, for a little while, but later on in their marriage, she had felt like a single woman raising her child. The spark had gone out of their marriage almost as quickly as it had gone into it.

She sighed heavily and leaned back on her bed, being careful not to disturb her slumbering son. She wanted so badly to go back to Andrew, but she felt like she had already made some strong connections here. Matthew Cooper's charming and boyish smile continued to flash through her mind. She couldn't seem to forget the way he looked at her the first time he saw her. He saw past the black dress of a widow and into the heart of a young woman who needed freedom and safety in a world that was so uncertain.

"Mama," came James' whimpers. He opened his eyes and rubbed them tiredly.

"What is it, James?" she asked, leaning over and stroking his soft hair.

"I miss Papa."

"I know," Molly said softly. She sighed and shook her head. "I miss him too." The truth was that she didn't truly think about missing him anymore. She didn't feel lonely right now at all, but she needed to let James know that she understood him.

"We see Papa again?" he asked as his little eyes fluttered shut. Molly pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Someday, sweetheart." She pulled him into her arms, and the two fell asleep, napping in the solace of this tiny boarding room. It was a far cry from Boston, but it was already starting to feel like home.

* * *

Andrew felt sick to his stomach as he sat on the train that would carry him back to the place he'd left a month before. He would go back to the place where his wife had died, and he had abandoned his baby daughter with her grandparents.

He opened up his briefcase and pulled out all of the letters and telegrams that had been sent to him since he moved back to Boston. He could almost picture what little Julia looked like. She looked just like Colleen, he imagined, and he was sure she would have her mother's eyes.

At that moment, visions of Molly flashed through his mind, and he felt guilty. He didn't want to think about her right now when he was going back to the one place he never wanted to see again. He was regretting sending her to Colorado Springs, but he had known she would be safe there. But she was no longer safe, and Nicholas Hill had a good half a day's lead on him. He hoped he wouldn't get there too late. But, just in case, he had sent a telegram ahead to Colorado Springs, warning Horace that a man was coming to town in the next couple of days that needed a close eye kept on him.

He only wished there as a way to contact Molly and let her know what was going on. She was completely oblivious, and the only way he could contact her was if he knew what name she had given to the townsfolk when she arrived. How was he to know she would use her real name?

He sighed heavily, millions of thoughts and questions pushing him closer to the edge of sanity. He pulled something from his pocket as the sun's light began to fade. He didn't know what else could help him escape his horrible thoughts, so he took a sip of the liquid and felt it burn all the way down. He made sure nobody was looking and took another drink and another.

He pressed his clammy forehead against the glass window and looked out, watching the land roll by as he had done before not long ago. This time, however, he wasn't escaping the past. He was going back to it. He would face it head on. Perhaps he could avoid everyone completely and find Molly right away. Maybe it would happen so perfectly that he could stop Nicholas Hill and bring Molly back to Boston before anyone knew what happened.

The train screeched and rattled along the tracks and it grew closer and closer to Colorado. He felt himself shaking already, and he was still a couple of days away. He felt every bump and jolt from the train, and it made him want to slip further inside of himself.

He took another drink from his flask and put it away. He noticed his vision blurring and his head spinning, and he pressed his head against the glass once more. The colors from the darkening blue sky and the earthen green grass started to swirl together, and Andrew felt his stomach churning. He closed his eyes and waited for the feeling to pass, but it didn't.

He knew that he was feeling this way because of what he was going back to. He didn't want to go back. He was frightened and nervous. He hated himself for feeling this way, and he hated himself because it was his fault he left in the first place. He could have been a man about it and taken responsibility of his daughter, but he had run like a coward and neglected his most important duty as a father. He had let his wife and daughter down. He knew he was a failure, so why was he so afraid of what was to come? He had already hit rock bottom. How could it get any worse?


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Michaela had spread a blanket out under the large oak tree near the homestead. Julia and Beth were lying there, sucking their little fingers. Katie was sitting in her mother's lap as Michaela read from a book of short children's stories. Sully was dangling his beaded necklace above the girls, and they were watching it with fascination as they chewed on their tiny fingers. Sully chuckled as Julia let out a giggle. Michaela looked up from her reading as Sully pulled the little one into his arms.

"She loves hearin' ya read," Sully remarked. Michaela shook her head.

"I believe she's more fascinated with you than with this story. She's definitely her father's daughter." Michaela caught herself, but it seemed a little less uncomfortable this time. Julia was theirs now, and there was no denying that she belonged in this family. "Sully, should we go back into town and check the post?" Earlier that day, the adoption papers they had requested arrived. They had signed them, and now all they had to do was get Andrew to sign them. They weren't sure how long that would take, and they knew they needed to get into contact with him soon.

"We've already been to the depot three times today. Maybe he didn't get the telegram?" Michaela shook her head.

"I'm sure he did. Sully, I'm worried. It's been three days."

"Give him time, Michaela. Give him time." Julia began to fuss and pump her little legs, and Sully handed her to Michaela. Katie crawled out of her mother's lap and moved to sit near her father.

"Come here, darling," she whispered. She leaned her back against the oak tree and unbuttoned her shirt enough to let Julia nurse. She caressed the soft hair upon the baby's head. She looked at Katie, remembering giving birth to her and how Sully had helped her along the way. "She feels like ours, Sully. I can't lose her now." Sully nodded in understanding. He scooted over and sat beside his wife, pulling his arm around her as Katie crawled over to lie beside Beth.

Sully and Michaela rested their heads together, and Sully watched as Julia nursed at Michaela's breast. He reached out and caressed Julia's cheek with his thumb, and she let out a soft squeak. Michaela giggled as Julia's hand wrapped around her index finger.

It was at that moment that Matthew came riding up in a borrowed wagon from Robert E.

"Sully! Dr. Mike!" he called. Michaela looked over to see that he was holding young James in his lap.

"What on Earth?" she said quietly. Sully picked up Beth and Katie, and he started toward the house. Michaela quickly finished up with Julia and joined them in front of the homestead.

"What happened?" Michaela asked quickly.

"We were drivin' out to Willow Creek so I could take James fishin', and Molly just collapsed."

"Take her inside," Michaela instructed. Sully took the girls inside, and Michaela hurried into to collect her medical bag. Once the table had been cleared, Matthew gently rested her on it. Molly's money purse spilled out of her hand and onto the floor, causing a large sum of money to pour out onto the floorboards. Matthew swallowed hard when he saw this, and Michaela noticed the money as well.

"Matthew, will you wait upstairs with Sully and the girls? Take James and Katie with you." Matthew stuffed Molly's money purse into his pocket, scooped up James and Katie and started up the stairs. Michaela looked at Molly's pale features as she lay unconscious. She began to press around her abdomen and found that she was wearing a corset. She sighed heavily and shook her head.

Molly's eyes fluttered open when Michaela began wiping her face with a cool cloth.

"What happened? Where am I?" Molly asked, immediately frightened.

"Shh," Michaela whispered. "You collapsed, and Matthew brought you to my home."

"Oh," Molly whispered. "Am I going to be all right?"

"You should be, but first, I think we need to get you out of that corset." Molly looked down. "The mixture of your heavy black dress and the hot July sun is not a good combination. Wearing a corset doesn't make things any better."

"Oh," Molly replied, swallowing hard.

"Molly?"

"Hmm?"

"Tomorrow, I'll take you to the mercantile, and we'll pick out a few new dresses in the catalogue for you to wear."

"But, I must wear this. It's the color of mourning." Michaela sensed her tone.

"Yes, but this July is going to be very hot," she explained. "You don't want another spell like this, do you?"

"Well, no," Molly said, becoming convinced. She sighed and placed her hand to her forehead.

"Molly?"

"I'm alright. Just a bit dizzy."

"Alright, let's get this corset off of you." Molly nodded, and Michaela went to work with the buttons of the dress. Soon, she was removing the corset, and Molly breathed a sigh of relief and lay back on the table. Michaela placed the corset aside and watched the color come back to Molly's face. She did up the buttons on Molly's dress again to make her feel a bit more comfortable.

"Better?"

"Much. But, I'm still feeling a bit dizzy." She placed her hand on her stomach, and Michaela noticed the significant change in Molly's abdomen after the removal of the corset. After a few moments of silence, Molly looked at the doctor. "What?"

"Molly, how long ago did your husband die."

"Two months," Molly said softly. "Why?"

"Would you mind if I examined you?"

"Examine me? What for?" Molly began to sit up, but she began feeling cramping deep within her.

"Oh!"

"What is it?"

"Something's wrong! Oh! Ow!" Molly began to writhe in pain, and fear overtook Michaela. She rushed up the stairs.

"Sully! I need you!" Sully and Matthew both followed Michaela down the stairs to see Molly writhing and moaning in pain on the table.

"What's wrong with her?" Matthew asked, fear freezing him in his place.

"I need to get her into a bed."

"She can take mine," Matthew said quickly. Sully scooped her up and carried her up the stairs. Matthew stayed in the kitchen, not knowing what to do next, but the only thing that came to his mind was a vision of Ingrid lying on that very table after being bitten by Pup. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he felt his knees growing weak. He sat down at the table and prayed to God that Molly was going to make it through this.

* * *

Nicholas Hill placed on his top had and exited the train car. He looked around the depot, searching for any sign of Molly Thomas. He didn't see her, only several people dressed in rustic clothes, hats and bonnets. He lit the tip of his cigar and started off toward the center of town.

Horace had been on the lookout for this very man after receiving a telegram from Andrew, but he had been in the midst of reading a letter from Myra and had completely been oblivious to Mr. Hill's arrival.

"Excuse me, sir?" Nicholas said, walking up to Jake Slicker at the barbershop.

"Need a shave?" Jake asked, flicking his cigar into the dirt street.

"No, I'm actually looking for someone. I thought you might be able to help me."

"Who?"

"A Mrs. Molly Thomas." The name didn't register with Jake.

"Don't know her."

"Perhaps you've seen her. She's very petite with reddish brown hair. She has a small boy. She's most likely wearing black. Her husband died not long ago, God rest his soul."

"Oh, the woman from Boston?"  
"Yes," Nicholas said. "Where might I find her?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm her brother Edward," he replied. That seemed to be enough to convince Jake, besides, he had customers waiting and didn't want to deal with this stranger any longer.

"She's stayin' at the boardin' house." He pointed in that direction.

"Thank you." Nicholas tipped his hat and started off in pursuit of the woman who possessed the money he felt belonged to him.

* * *

Michaela was alone in Matthew's room with Molly now, and she had given Molly one of her nightgowns to wear. Molly was crying, and Michaela was examining her and being as gentle as possible.

"It's almost over," she promised.

"What's wrong with me?" Molly asked. Michaela sighed and looked up at Molly.

"Didn't you know that you're pregnant?" Molly closed her eyes and began to sob again. She shook her head. "You had no idea?"

"No," she whispered. "I knew that I had skipped my monthly a couple of times, but I heard that could happen to ladies under stress. I've been under a lot of stress with my husband dying and . . . and moving out West." Michaela nodded.

"Yes," she said softly.

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore. Is everything alright?"

"For the time being, you and your baby are in stable condition. I was able to control the cramping, and you were lucky that you weren't hemorrhaging. I must insist that you stop wearing corsets, because they're not good for the baby. I believe you're four months along." She firmly pressed her hand against Molly's belly. If all goes well, you could have a Christmas baby. Molly swallowed hard.

"I just can't believe it. I . . . I can't be."

"You are, Molly," Michaela insisted. "But, if you want this baby to grow and be strong and healthy, you're going to have to rest for a few days." Molly blinked back the tears. "If you don't rest, there is a good chance you'll miscarry." Molly cried out, and Michaela wiped the tears from her eyes with a damp cloth.

"Shh, you can rest now. You're going to be all right." She walked over to a water basin and lathered her hands with soap. After she'd washed up, she left Molly alone to think for a while. Matthew quickly moved toward his mother when she entered the hallway.

"Where's Mama?" James asked, walking out of Katie's room.

"Your mama is resting now," Michaela whispered.

"Can I see her? What's wrong with her?" Matthew asked. Michaela sighed heavily and looked into her son's eyes.

"Matthew, Molly is pregnant. She nearly had a miscarriage." Surprise filled Matthew's eyes.

"What!"

"She's about four months pregnant, and she needs her rest now to prevent a miscarriage." She put her hand on Matthew's shoulder.

"Can I see her?" he asked again. Michaela nodded.

"Yes." Matthew made his way into Molly's room to find her curled up in a ball on the bed. She had the covers pulled up around her even though it was about eighty degrees in the room.

"How're ya feelin'?" Matthew asked quietly, puling a chair up beside the bed.

"Better," she said softly. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"I was worried."

"Did Dr. Quinn tell you?"

"Yeah. She said you're havin' a baby." Molly nodded numbly. "Congratulations." At that point, she burst into tears again.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, taking her hand in his.

"It's not your fault," she said, shaking her head. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "My husband didn't want more kids. After James was born, he was satisfied that he had a son, and he didn't want me ruining my figure with another pregnancy. He wanted one child to carry on his name, and James was the heir."

"What did you want?"

"I wanted a house full of children," she said with a fond smile. "But, now, I don't know what I'm going to do." She shook her head and let the tears fall. Matthew remembered her money purse falling out onto the floor when he brought her to the homestead.

"Oh, I forgot." He pulled it out and placed it in her hands.

"Where did you find this?" she asked, sitting up in the bed and resting her back against the headboard.

"It fell onto the floor when I brought ya here. It spilled open." Molly looked down.

"Oh." She wasn't quite sure what to say. "I bet you're wondering what a woman like me is doing with all of that money."

"Yeah, but ya don't have to tell me." Molly looked into his eyes, and she knew she needed to tell him. For some reason, her heart wanted him to know what she had been through. She wanted him to know everything about her, and this was the only place she knew she could start from.

* * *

Michaela had settled the children down for their naps, and she joined Sully downstairs. Their hands were joined as they walked out onto the porch and settled down on the steps. Michaela had been rather silent, and now, Sully needed her to talk and tell him what she was feeing.

"You alright?"

"Yes," she said quietly. Sully squeezed her hand. "It's just that the entire time I was up there with her, I couldn't help but think of my miscarriage." She swallowed hard, and Sully pulled his arm around her. "It's a frightening and painful thing, Sully, and I hope she doesn't have to go through it. No woman should ever have to experience that." Sully nodded in agreement. "I still dream about that baby, Sully."

"Ya do?" he asked with surprise. She nodded.

"Oh yes. Quite often, actually. In every dream, our baby is a boy, and he looks just like you." Sully smiled a little and kissed the side of Michaela's head. "In every dream, we're holding him and telling him how much we love him. And, Sully, when I wake up, I always get the feeling that our little boy is up in Heaven thinking about us as much as I think about him."

"I think about that baby too," Sully admitted. "I only wish I'd been there for ya. Ya shouldn't have had to go through it alone." Their fingers laced together. "I can't begin to imagine what ya went through."

"What matters is that since then, we've had a beautiful baby girl together. We have our family, Sully, and I only hope Molly will get to have hers. She's suffered so much already."

"Ya think she needs anything from town?" Sully asked, looking toward the wagon.

"She's going to need to rest for a couple of days. Would you mind going to the boarding house and picking up a few of her things?" Michaela asked.

"Sure," Sully replied. He and Michaela kissed softly before Sully went into town to pack up some of Molly's belongings.

* * *

Matthew sat, staring with his eyes wide in surprise as Molly finished her story. She told him everything from Peter's murder to getting the money with the help of a friend and coming to Colorado Springs. Of course, she didn't mention her friend's name.

"Wow," Matthew said, running his fingers through his hair.

"I know it sounds ridiculous. Why would you believe me?" She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "The ridiculous part would be me not knowing I was pregnant. How could I have been so foolish?"

"First of all, it ain't ridiculous. Second of all, you've had a lot on your mind. Nobody blames ya for not knowin' ya were pregnant." She shook her head.

"I've been through this once before with James. You'd think I'd know."

"Well, you can rest easy now," Matthew promised. "That friend of yours in Boston obviously cared enough about ya to send ya here. Nobody's gonna find ya here, and if they do, I'm the sheriff." Molly smiled and reached out to touch Matthew's cheek.

"Why are you so good to me? We barely know one another."

"Nobody deserves to go through what you have, Molly. Ya deserve so much better than this." A tear streaked down the beautiful woman's cheek. "You okay?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"I'll leave ya to get some rest."

"I want James," Molly called as Matthew walked to the door.

"I'll send him in." A moment later, James came running in, and Matthew shut the door to give him some time with his mother.

"Mama!"

"Hello, sweetheart," she whispered. James climbed into the bed.

"You okay, Mama?"

"I'm fine. Do you want to know something very special?" she asked, not sure if she should say anything in case a miscarriage did occur. But, when she saw the excitement in her boy's eyes, she couldn't hold back.

"What, Mama?" he asked, clapping his hands together.

"You're going to be a big brother!" James looked confused. "Do you know what that means?" He shook his head. "Mama's going to have a baby!"

"Baby!" James exclaimed happily! "Big brother!" He began jumping up and down on the bed until Molly settled him down. She took him into her arms and began to beam with pride. It was then that she began to think of her very uncertain future. One thing she knew for sure, however, was that she was going to love her children first and foremost, and she was going to do whatever it took to protect them.

* * *

Sully had met up with Brian on his way into town, and Brian had ridden alongside the wagon on Taffy. They had talked for a little while about the situation at home with Molly, so Brian had offered to help Sully with Molly's things in town.

When they arrived at the boarding house, Jake Slicker noticed and started to walk over.

"Sully? What's goin' on?" he asked, knowing that Sully rarely went to the boarding house. Brian looked at Jake.

"We're getting some of Widow Thomas' things."

"Widow Thomas?" Jake asked.

"Molly," Brian explained. Jake looked from Sully to Brian.

"What for?"

"I don't think that's really anything you need to concern yourself with, Jake," Sully warned.

"Didn't her brother come see her?" Brian and Sully looked at one another.

"Brother? She never said somethin' 'bout her brother," Sully explained.

"Some guy came today lookin' for her, and he said he was her brother." Sully immediately knew something was wrong. Before he could go inside, Horace showed up.

"Sully? Jake? What's goin' on?"

"Some fella showed up sayin' he was that Molly Thomas' brother." Jake went on to describe him, and Horace placed a hand over his mouth.

"What is it, Horace?" Sully asked.

"I can't believe this." He handed Sully the telegram, and Sully read it thoroughly. Jake read over his shoulder.

"That's the guy." Sully swallowed hard, and the first thing he thought before he stuffed the telegram in his pocket was, "Why would Andrew Cook be sending a warning telegram to Colorado Springs?"

He finally burst through the door of the boarding house. Widow Johnson was out at the café, so he took himself up to the rooms. He remembered her saying which room she'd been staying in, and when he got to the small room at the end of the hall, his hand lingered on the doorknob. He pulled his tomahawk from his belt and prepared himself for anything.

When he opened the door, he found that the room was a complete mess. Everything had been ripped apart and destroyed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Sully walked into the homestead with Brian a while later, and Michaela could tell by the look on his face that something was terribly wrong. Brian went upstairs to talk to Matthew, and Sully pulled the telegram from his pocket. He handed it to Michaela, and as she was reading, he began to speak.

"Jake said this sounded like the description of a man who came to town lookin' for Molly. He said he was her brother Edward, and when I got to the boardin' house, her room was destroyed. All of her stuff was broken and ripped up."

"Oh my God," Michaela whispered. Then her eyes settled on the name of the man who had sent the telegram. "Why on Earth would Andrew be warning Horace of this man?"

"That's a good question," Sully replied. "Maybe we better go talk to Molly."

"I don't want to disturb her now. I just checked on her, and she's sleeping."

Meanwhile, upstairs, Brian sat down on the floor in the hallway beside Matthew.

"Hey little brother," Matthew said quietly.

"How's your friend doin'?"

"She's restin'," he replied. "Dr. Mike said Sully went into town to get some of her things."

"Yeah," Brian said quietly. Matthew sensed his brother's tone.

"What's goin' on?"

"Me and Sully joined up goin' into town, and when we got there, Jake came over."

"What?"

"It was real strange, and he started askin' all these question. He said some man named Edward came to town sayin' he was Molly's brother. But, when me and Sully got there, all her stuff had been ripped up and smashed." Matthew looked toward Molly's door.

"Go on."

"Before we even went inside, Horace came over with a telegram. It was sayin' that some man named Nicholas . . . uh, I think it was Nicholas Hill, yeah! Anyway, it was sayin' that he was headin' for Colorado Springs and that Molly could be in danger."

"What!"

"Horace didn't wanna tell nobody at first, 'cause, he thought that he shouldn't worry her, seein' as she was a widow and all. He didn't want her frettin' 'bout some man coming for her, so he thought he'd stop it quietly. He was even gonna come for you, but he knew ya were getting close to Molly, and you might let it slip."

"What else aren't ya tellin' me?" Matthew asked after a few moments of silence once he'd gotten the chance to soak it all in.

"The man who sent the telegram . . ."  
"Yeah?" Many thoughts filled his mind, but he couldn't figure out who would be warning Horace of an apparent danger to Molly.

"It was Andrew." Matthew began to see red now. Andrew? What did he have to do with Molly?

"Matthew?" came Molly's voice inside of his room. "Is that you?" Matthew swallowed hard, and Brian gave him a look as if to tell him to go in and be with her. He slowly stood and walked into the room. Molly was sitting up in bed, and James was curled up beside her. He was clutching his favorite toy in his hands, and Matthew felt a bit relieved that it hadn't been destroyed along with the rest of her belongings.

"Hey," he said quietly, clutching his hat in his hands. She knew he was nervous, and she didn't know why.

"Come sit." She patted the chair next to her bed. "I could use some company." He settled down into the chair, and she noticed his eyes looking down. "Matthew? What's the matter?"

"Sully just got back."

"Oh? Did he bring my things?"

"No," he said quietly. "Some man came to town and said he was your brother. Said he was lookin' for ya. Horace at the depot got a telegram sayin' Nicholas Hill, the man you told me had been after ya, was comin' to town." Molly's face grew pale. "Everything in your room was destroyed. He musta . . ."

"He was looking for the money. That means he's coming after me, Matthew!" she exclaimed.

"Whoa, whoa. Ya gotta rest. I'm the sheriff, and I'm gonna take care of this. I'll make sure you're safe." She knew there was still something on his mind.

"Matthew? The telegram . . ."

"How do you know Andrew Cook?" She let out a sigh.

"He's . . . he's the friend who helped me to come here."

"Why didn't ya tell us ya knew him?"

"Well, I knew he'd been living here, but I didn't know how well everyone knew him. Besides, he seemed as if he didn't want people to know I knew him."

"Of course," Matthew said quietly, shaking his head. She saw tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Matthew? What's wrong?" Matthew was silent, but Molly was persistent. "Tell me. Matthew, I think I have a right to know."

"We know Andrew," he finally said. "He came here right before Katie was born. He was gonna stay just to deliver the baby, but things happened, and he ended up stayin' longer. My sister fell for him. She was smart and real pretty. She was gonna go to medical school too. She did go off to college, hopin' to be a doctor like Dr. Mike. Then, Andrew fell in love with her." Molly felt her heart beginning to pound nervously. "They got married just after my sister got accepted to go into medical school." Matthew swallowed hard.

"Andrew told me his wife was dead," she said softly.

"Colleen died last month," he replied.

"You said she died having Julia."

"Andrew's never held his daughter. He's never even looked at her." Molly felt as if she'd been slapped in the face with the truth. She'd seen the kind, quiet side of Andrew Cook, but she had no idea the kind of man he was before he left Colorado Springs. Perhaps he was still that same man. He had abandoned his daughter, and that's why he hadn't wanted to join her on the journey out here.

James woke and looked around.

"Hungry, Mama," he said softly. "I want pie." Molly smiled at her little boy and kissed him on the forehead.

"Here," Matthew said, picking the boy up. "I'll give ya over to Brian, and he'll take ya downstairs."

"Kay," James said trustingly. Matthew disappeared into the hall with James and returned alone a moment later. Molly was staring him with uncertainty in her eyes.

"Julia is Andrew's daughter?" Matthew nodded.

"Colleen died after givin' birth to her, and Andrew left right before Colleen's funeral. He didn't answer our telegrams for a long time."

"So Dr. Quinn and Sully are going to adopt her?"

"I hope so. From where I stand, Andrew don't deserve to be a father. For what he did to her, Julia would be better off if she never even knew him."

"You can't mean that," Molly said quietly. "I got to know him. He was so kind to me, and . . ." Matthew began to feel anger building up inside of him. Had Andrew really started moving on so quickly after Colleen's death? Matthew couldn't bear the thought of his baby sister lying dead in the cold ground while her no good husband was off making new relationships with the women in Boston.

"Kind? Ya call a man who leaves his newborn baby a kind man? A man who . . . who leaves without going to his own wife's funeral?" Matthew stopped, thinking about Ingrid's funeral and how saying goodbye to her had been the hardest thing he'd ever done until Colleen's funeral.

Pain overtook Matthew's soul, and he turned toward the door.

"Matthew?" Molly asked, frightened now. "Where are you going?" Matthew couldn't answer her. He as too upset to even think about explaining himself to her. "Matthew!" He opened the door and paused a moment before walking into the hallway and closing her inside the solitude of his own room.

Molly broke down into tears, weeping out of confusion, anger and worry. She had never seen Matthew so upset before in the short amount of time she'd known him, but the words he said and his vehement feelings toward Andrew told her that she had much to learn.

* * *

It was that night that all was silent in the Sully homestead. Wolf was lying on the floor at the foot of Michaela and Sully's bed. Julia and Beth were tucked into their crib together while young James slept beside Katie down the hall.

Brian had given up his room to Matthew, but Matthew had taken the opportunity to sleep in the loft of the barn. He needed to be out of the house. He hated avoiding Molly, but he knew he'd frightened her with his outward display of loathing toward Andrew. He hadn't wanted to frighten such a beautiful, sweet young woman. It hadn't been her fault that she'd been taken in by Andrew's charm, or whatever he'd drawn her friendship from.

Michaela and Sully had talked for hours about everything that had transpired that afternoon. Matthew had explained Andrew's involvement in Molly's move West, and everyone felt that Molly was free to make her own judgments about Andrew, but they all couldn't help but feel even more anger toward him now.

Molly wasn't sleeping. She was sitting up in bed, staring into the darkness of the room. She felt weak and tired, and she was nervous for the tiny life she carried inside of her. She didn't want to move for fear of losing this precious gift, and she didn't want to cry for fear that she would wake the entire household. The last thing she wanted was for people to pity her. All she wanted was to feel safe again and not have to feel confused about the two men she had trusted so much since her husband's passing.

She'd never seen Andrew show a cruel side of himself, and she didn't think there was anything cruel about him. She knew what it was like to grieve, and she knew what it was like to hurt. Everyone expressed their grief in different ways. Perhaps Andrew was going to come back for his daughter. Michaela had earlier shown her the few letters he had sent that had explained his painful decision. She had even asked the good doctor why she still felt anger toward him even though he had explained himself. Michaela had only told her that she didn't feel anger. She only felt the pain that Andrew was unintentionally putting on the entire family by not taking his responsibilities. Then, she had gone on to explain how Julia needed her and needed Sully.

Molly knew those weren't the words of a desperate grandmother wanting to hold onto her granddaughter. They were the words of a mother who needed to protect and love this child with every part of her being. Sully and Michaela were wonderful parents and would never leave their child in another person's care unless it was absolutely necessary and they had no other choice. Andrew had had a choice, and he had chosen to flee and leave everything behind him. He had wanted to make a better life for himself, but from what she'd seen in her short friendship with him was that he was the same sad, lonely man she'd met a month ago on that train. She felt sorry for him, but she knew he hadn't made an attempt to change his life for his daughter's benefit.

Her mind drifted to Matthew and the sadness that had filled his eyes when he had talked of his sister's death. Something more was lying in the depths of Matthew's mind; something that added fuel to the painful fire that burned those memories into his every waking and sleeping moment.

Molly found herself being drawn to the idea of going out to comfort him; hold him without even knowing what else was troubling him. She knew he'd lost loved ones before his sister. She knew that Dr. Quinn and Sully were not his real parents. They were too young to be his real parents, for one, and there weren't many obvious similarities in their appearances. When she looked at Katie, she knew that connection was real, but it was rather odd that young Julia looked like a twin, or at the very least, a non-identical sister to Beth, when Julia wasn't a blood relative either.

She felt the room go hot on the muggy July night, so she crept out of bed in the gown the doctor had graciously let her have. Her feet padded along the wooden floor, and she balanced herself as she descended the stairs.

She saw candlelight coming from the loft as soon as she made it out onto the porch of the homestead. The humid air hit her like a heavy blanket, and she felt her skin growing clammy and sweat beading on her forehead.

A coyote howled off in the distance, and the sound sent shivers up and down her spine. She looked around, fearing that spying eyes were watching her. She couldn't help but feel the nervous tingle in her fingers and toes as she walked out to the corral, through the gate and into the wooden structure. The horses were sleeping in their stalls despite the coyotes howling off in the mountains. She found their sleeping to be calming to her own nerves. She'd always heard that animals can sense danger. Then, why were they so serene when she had the sneaking suspicion that she was being watched.

"Who's down there?" Matthew asked, leaning over the ledge of the loft with an oil lamp in his hand. He saw a dark shadow standing down in the hay and his hand reached for his pistol. He'd only carried it with him on this night, because Nicholas Hill was on the loose. He hadn't felt like going after him on this day after everything that had happened. He knew the only way he could find him was if Nicholas found Molly first, so he needed to stay with her. Besides, she had asked him not to go out there looking for him so close to sunset. She had made him promise to stay so she would feel safer, so he had kept his word.

Though he was initially upset that she had trusted Andrew, he knew now that she hadn't known what he'd left behind in Colorado Springs.

"It's me," she said softly. "Sorry if I woke you."

"I wasn't sleepin'," Matthew replied. He climbed down the ladder, still dressed in what he was wearing earlier.

"You weren't thinking of sneaking out and going after Mr. Hill, were you?" Molly asked.

"Thinkin' 'bout it? Yeah. I wasn't gonna go, though." Molly smiled a little. "You should be in bed. Dr. Mike told ya to rest."

"No, I'm alright. I needed some fresh air, anyway." Matthew absent-mindedly took her hand and led her out of the barn away from the smell of horse and cattle dung. They settled down side-by-side on the front porch of the homestead. Molly looked up at the stars.

"The sky is beautiful tonight," she whispered. "Look at all of those stars, Matthew. Aren't they amazing?" Matthew glanced at her, swallowed hard and looked up into the sky.

"Never thought about it, but yeah, I guess so." Molly smiled and took a deep breath. "You know you're safe now, don't ya? I ain't gonna let that man hurt you or James. I'll go out lookin' for him in the mornin'."

"You'll be careful?" Molly asked softly.

"'Course I will," Matthew replied. He cleared his throat and looked out toward the barn. He could almost hear Pup snarling and Ingrid screaming. Molly noticed he was lost in thought now, and she gently put her hand on his back. He didn't move, and she knew something was wrong.

"What is it? You've done this several times today, Matthew. You're thinking about something. What is it? What's wrong?" Matthew glanced at Molly.

"You're sure you wanna know?" She was a little taken aback by this response. What could be troubling that could cause him to ask that kind of question?

"Of course I am, silly. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know." Matthew cleared his throat once again.

"I guess me and Andrew have somethin' in common."

"What?"

"A few years back, the woman I loved was bitten right inside our barn." He pointed toward the door. "Brian had a wolf too. His name was Pup, and he got rabies. He bit Ingrid, and she died a couple weeks later." He paused. "We were engaged." Molly covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh Matthew, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pried."

"No, it's alright. The whole town knows about it. Ya woulda heard it from somebody sooner or later."

"I'm glad I heard it from you," Molly said with a smile. She sighed. "You've lost a lot, Matthew."

"We both have." He looked over at her, and Molly felt her cheeks blushing. Out of great pain, both of these two people had found someone who understood what it was like to hurt and to be afraid. But the thing was that when they were with one another, they weren't hurting or scared. They were at peace.

The click of a gun cocking sent both turning from the homestead. A man in dressy clothes stepped out of the shadows like in some children's ghost story.

"Mrs. Thomas," he said with a smile and a wicked gleam in his eyes. Matthew felt Molly tense up beside him, and they both stood, coming face to face with Nicholas Hill.


End file.
